Premature Ejaculation happens to each and every man in different phases
in his life. Of course it is something he is hoping to forget and get
over and done with but there are times when a person has to take matters
into his own hands and how to stop premature ejaculation should be the
utmost priority.
This is not your usual chocolate moment - relax and
ease out. It should not always be a quick masturbatory element on your
part. What you have to do is experiment on how to stop premature
ejaculation by finding out your boiling point. You have to understand
the movement of your penis from stiffness to eruption. Even though it is
your body, there are times when listening to Anatomy 101 would be a
little helpful since you have to know that there Erection Stages that
completes the whole process. It is about growing, filling lengthening,
hardening beyond measurable doubts and the last part which is
ejaculation.
Step #1: Experiment, Awareness.
The tip
here is to go through the usual process of getting comfortable and close
your eyes. When you feel that your legs are about to have muscle
cramps, stop, relax and resume the masturbation. You have to be
conscious of what you are doing here since the need to know how to stop
premature ejaculation can be achieved just by paying attention to your
movements and breathing.
Step #2: Positions to Avoid.
There are two major sexual positions you have to stay away from.
Although for you to last longer, know how to stop premature ejaculation
by not participating on the Missionary and Doggy Style. These two
positions make you thrust a little stronger and not control your
muscles.
Step #3: Pressure Points to Touch.
You have to
master this technique on how to stop premature ejaculation by knowing
where to apply pressure when you think you are about to ejaculate. These
are areas near your perineum or that portion just in the middle of your
scrotum and your anus. You could also apply some gentle tugs on your
scrotum. Don't allow your partner to apply circular movements on it
since you will erupt in no time. Should your partner do this, squeeze
the head part of your penis in a gentle manner to help prevent having
fireworks.
Try these steps to how to stop premature ejaculation to have a longer and lasting pleasure.
“Passion comes easily in the early days of a
relationship. Almost every word, glance and touch vibrates with lust.
It’s nature’s way of drawing us together. But after the captivating
rush of desire, what is the place of sex in a relationship? Besides
pulling us in, can sex also help to keep us together to build a lasting
relationship? Emphatically, yes. In fact, good sex is a potent bonding
experience. The passion of infatuation is just the hors d’oeuvre.
Loving sex in a long-term relationship is the entree.” Dr. Sue Johnson
in Hold Me Tight.
Much of what we hear in popular culture and from some self
help gurus is that passion is a passing sensation, which fades as a
relationship matures. The high intensity of sexual desire that
characterizes the beginning of your relationship is thought to
inevitably diminish with time. Unfortunately, too much emphasis has
been placed on the mechanics of sex: positions, techniques, and toys to
enhance physical bliss.
When couples feel secure in their relationship, then
emotional connection creates great sex and great sex deepens the
emotional connection. For emotionally accessible, responsive and engaged
couples, sex becomes intimate play where sexual needs, deepest joys
and vulnerabilities are shared. Sexually satisfied couples are truly
‘making love’.
Happy couples attribute only 15-20% of their happiness to a
satisfying sex life. On the other hand, unhappy couples believe that
50-70% of their unhappiness is due to an unsatisfying sex life.
(McCarthy & McCarthy, 2003). The reason sex is such a big issue
with unhappy couples is because it is the first thing affected when a
relationship begins to falter. It is not usually the real problem, but
more of a symptom. It is a bit like the “canary in the mine” warning a
couple of danger. It signals that the couple do not feel emotionally
safe which each other. The security of our emotional connection defines
our relationship in bed as well as out.
The most common physical sexual problems are low sex drive
for women and premature ejaculation for men. This is not surprising.
When women are unhappy in relationships they typically feel alone,
emotionally disconnected. If they are seeking reassurance that they are
valued for who they are as a person and do not receive it they shut
down sexually. When men are unhappy, they often focus more on their
sexual performance and their own release rather than focussing on
pleasing her. When she senses this, it can make her feel more alone and
sex becomes less pleasurable for her. This reinforces his sense of
inadequacy, and the sexual issues continue, increase and then are seen
as ‘the’ problem for a couple. Most often, when couples can create a
secure emotional connection, their sex life improves automatically. Deepening Your Connection through Touch and Sex
If you or your partner is not feeling emotionally secure
and safe in your relationship, it will not be possible to have a
constructive conversation about improving the quality of your sex life.
I have written in previous articles about how to create a greater sense
of security by learning how to stop destructive conversations and how to de-escalate conflict. Appreciating the vulnerabilities of your partner
is also a prerequisite for deeper conversations. For those of you in
more secure relationships, you must have the courage to reveal your own
deeper desires and needs and have the courage to ask your partner for the love you need.
If you and your partner are feeling emotionally secure,
then below are a few suggestions to deepen your connection through
touch and sex. Some of these may be very hard to do. Perhaps more
attention on touch than sex would be good place to start. Remember to
stay open, responsive and engaged as you have these conversations. Try
these and have some fun!
1. With your partner, recall a time in your relationship
when sex was really satisfying. The person who tends to initiate sex
less goes first. Share the story of this pleasant and happy experience
with your partner in as much detail as possible. Talk about what you
think made it so memorable. Then the other person shares a different
story.
2. Have a conversation about “If I was perfect in bed.”
One person begins by saying: “If I were perfect in bed, I could, I
would______________, and then you would feel more______________.” Share
at least three responses with each other.
3. Think of all the ways touch can show up in your
relationship. For example, holding hands while out together, a
spontaneous hug while making dinner together, giving a shoulder or back
massage or brushing her hair. Take turns telling your partner your
favourite nonsexual ways of being touched.
Touch can be enjoyable in and of itself as a way of
connecting emotionally. It does not always have to lead to sex.
Spontaneity, anticipation, surprise can create the right mood. Touch is
a powerful expression of love. Sex can then be simply for fun, as way
of getting close, a straight forward release, a way to deal with
Sex. It can ignite our senses, fill us with ripples of pleasure and
awaken a new dimension of feeling for our partner. Lovemaking doesn't
require extraordinary skill, nor is it limited to young couples in the
throes of passion. Couples of all ages can cultivate sexual bliss for
the duration of their lives together.
So what's the trick? One of the most
important and often overlooked components of a rewarding sex life is
exercise. Regular exercise can pique sexual desire and make sex more
enjoyable.
Good Sex Is a Good Thing
Though definitions vary, "good sex"
might be thought of as an act of intimacy that promotes health and
well-being. Good sex provides significant physical and physiological
benefits. Enjoyed in the context of a happy relationship, "sex boosts
chemicals in the body that protect against disease," says Paul Pearsall,
Ph.D., author of the book "Superimmunity."
Research also suggests that sex and
masturbation can help ease joint and muscle pain, combat depression,
promote heart health and lengthen life span.
All too often, however, we haven't
the time or energy for sex. According to the Masters and Johnson
Institute, at least a third of American couples experience a lack of
sexual desire. After a stressful day at work, it's easy to neglect the
ultimate celebration of human pleasure.
There are ways to ensure that
lovemaking remains a passionate, intense and regular part of our
repertoire no matter what our age or how busy our lifestyle.
Create Energy for Sex
The surest way to whet sexual
appetite and increase sexual activity is through physical exercise.
Potent medicine, aerobic exercise revs up hormones, flushes stress,
whittles away fat and rejuvenates the body, filling us with renewed
vigor, greater confidence and the glow of good health. Regular exercise
also increases blood flow to the genitals, priming men and women for
sex.
"Beginning a fitness routine has made
a difference in our sex life," remarks 42-year-old Mary Jane Platt, a
mother of three. "Since we began biking together, we have so much more
energy for each other. It's wonderful."
Mary Jane's experience isn't unusual.
A University of California study of middle-aged, sedentary men found
that after just one hour of exercise three times a week, the men
demonstrated improved sexual function, more frequent sex and orgasms and
greater satisfaction.
Similarly, researchers at Bentley
College in Massachusetts found that women in their 40s engaged in sex
more often (about seven times per month), and enjoyed it more than a
sedentary group of peers. Since sex can be an act of endurance,
improving cardiovascular fitness with aerobic activity such as walking,
running, cycling or swimming for at least 30 minutes, three times per
week, will help both partners perform longer and more often.
Push-ups and sit-ups or crunches are
also beneficial exercises to add to an aerobic routine. They strengthen
the shoulders, chest and abdominals, all of which are utilized during
sexual intercourse. Keeping these muscles strong helps increase strength
and stamina, adding to prolonged, more pleasurable sex.
Warm Ups for Sex
Unlike the muscles in our arms or
legs, sex muscles are rarely active during the course of the day.
However, by strengthening these "secret" muscles, couples can enjoy more
intense sex. Kegel exercises firm the muscles of the vagina, helping
women gain muscle control (to grip the penis) and reach orgasm more
easily.
Men can use this exercise to delay
ejaculation by contracting the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles just before
orgasm, then fully relaxing them. Named after Los Angeles physician
Arnold Kegel, these exercises strengthen the PC muscles in the pelvis.
Though sometimes confused with the abdominal muscles, PCs are the
muscles used to stop the flow of urine midstream (not the muscles used
to hold in your stomach or tighten your buttocks).
Here's how Kegels work: Contract your
PC muscles by clenching, as though stopping urine, and hold for at
least two to three seconds per squeeze. Inhale as you squeeze each time
and try to fully relax your muscles between each contraction. So you
don't get sore, start with just 10 or 20 squeezes. Kegels can be
practiced nearly anytime and in any place.
Try them in the morning with each
bite of breakfast, while chatting with a co-worker, while watching
television or flipping the pages of a magazine until you can do at least
100 to 200 each day. "The squeeze" is fun and easy, and can stimulate
erotic feelings. Daily workouts for about one month should yield
results.
Stretches for Sex
The following pelvic stretches will
help keep the muscles used during sex limber and flexible and help
facilitate orgasm. Each stretch can be done in the bedroom on a firm
mattress or on the floor. Wear either loose clothing or nothing at all,
and consider playing your favorite music. As these exercises can arouse
strong sexual desire, you may wish to try these with your partner.
Pelvic Lifts
Lie on your back with knees bent and
slightly apart. Feet should be flat on the floor and arms at your side.
Inhale, clenching your abdominals and buttocks and lifting the pelvis
until your back is straight. Take care not to arch your back. Breathe as
you hold the position for at least 10 seconds. Exhale as you lower your
body and repeat the exercise.
After you complete your lifts, try a
few pelvic bounces, an exercise that can "evoke powerful sexual
feelings," according to sex therapists David and Ellen Ramsdale.
As with the pelvic lift, knees are
bent and slightly apart. Your palms should face up. Inhale and lift your
pelvis just slightly off the ground. Then, exhale and let it down so
your lower back bounces gently against the floor. Experiment with
variations. Your goal is to feel a sense of openness and release.
The Butterfly
Lie on your back with knees bent.
Feet should be together and flat on the bed. Next, pull your feet in
until they touch your buttocks. Turn your ankles so the soles of your
feet are facing each other and touching. Your knees will point out to
the sides of the bed.
Lower your knees toward the bed
taking care not to force them down. You or your partner may gently press
downward on your inner thighs. When your knees are as far apart as is
comfortable, hold for 60 seconds. Gently bring the knees back together
with your hands and relax.
This exercise can also be done
sitting up, back-to-back with your partner. Sit up as straight as
possible with your spines pressed gently together. Relax your shoulders
and keep your head in line with your spine. Bring your feet in as close
to your body as possible, and turn them so your soles touch and knees
point out. Clasp your feet. Breathe deeply and watch as your knees begin
to lower, taking care not to force the knees down.
The butterfly is also beneficial for
menstrual irregularities urinary problems and is thought to help ease
the pain of childbirth.
Sexual Fitness
There are many other exercises and
stretches that can enhance not only our sex lives but our mental and
physical health. Yoga and dance classes offer great workouts and help
stretch the pelvic region. Swimming and other sports that involve
kicking motion, are also beneficial.
Regular exercise of almost any kind helps elevate energy, stamina, passion, pleasure...all aspects of our sex lives. So exercise and enjoy! The benefits are many.