How to improve your Marriage and avoid Relationship Boredom

Someone has rightly said ‘Marriage is a two way street and it takes the efforts of both the partners to make it work’. Unfortunately, many who take their time in finding a partner or entering a relationship do not put much efforts to save it when it comes to maintaining the relationship. After the initial excitement is over most relationship goes stale making the partners to seek the solution in marital infidelity or divorce. This is because after some time after marriage or living relationship the priorities of one or both of the partners tends to shift into children, job responsibilities money etc and as a result they tend to neglect the partner or take  the partner for granted enabling boredom to creep in the relationship. If you want to maintain your marriage or relationship it is essential that you should put efforts to save it before it is too late.

Tips for Improving Marriage and avoiding Relationship Boredom

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Tips for Improving Marriage and avoiding Relationship Boredom

Improving your marriage need not necessarily involve huge changes but even the cumulative effect of small changes can make a significant difference in the quality of a relationship. Here are some Tips for improving Marriage and avoiding relationship boredom.
1) Improve your Communication: A healthy communication between partners is essential to maintain a good relationship. Take the time out to talk to your partner on a daily basis even if it is across the breakfast table or a late night dinner together. The daily communication can help to gain a better understanding of your partner. Try being an observer and a listener when your partner speaks and do not dominate the conversation by not allowing your spouse time to speak.
2) Take Care of your Appearance: Most Couples become lazy or uncared about their looks once they enter matrimony. Make sure you dress properly, eat healthy and do exercise regularly to stay fit.
3) Spice up your Sex Life: Most women find their men selfish when it comes to their own sexual needs. By taking your time to understand what your partner wants in bed and fulfilling them or trying out new thing with them you also ensure that your spouse would not cheat. Never reach a stage where you are not touching each other. Most women loved to be especially hugged or kissed by the partner even when they are not physically intimate with their partner. According to a study done by the Doctors at the University of North Carolina, hugging boosts blood levels of Oxytocin which is a relaxing hormone that is linked to trust.
4) Add Romance to your Life: Schedule regular dates with your spouse even if it is going out for a movie or play, or taking a walk at the beach or go dancing or having food together at a local restaurant. The idea is spending time together. Every day life can get so bogged down with details, work and loose ends that fun and romance can easily become buried and neglected. So make time for you and your spouse to go for vacations and spend time together doing something you both enjoy.
5) Add and element of Surprise: Predictability in relationships can create marital boredom. It is very important that you use words and actions to convey that your spouse is valued and treasured. Women especially who leave their own family to join her husband after marriage get hurt their mate never remembers a Birthday or an Anniversary and may even feel that her relationship is worthless. Women are also highly emotional and buying them gifts for special occasions or even without a reason can earn their loyalty towards spouse. However, try not to be predictable about what you do to surprise her or what gift you would get for her.
6) Give Respect and Take Respect:What you give is what you get. If you expect your spouse to respect you make sure that you show respect when you are talking to your spouse and also in front of others. Treating your partner like dirt, rolling your eyes when talking or using bad words would not help you gain respect. Never neglect a spouse which is a sign of lack of respect for the person.
7) Take the television out of the Bedroom: The Television in the bedroom can kill romance and sex between partners. Late night TV watching can become a habit which translates to less sex or intimacy between partners which can ruin a marriage. So taking the TV out of the bedroom is a great idea. Feng shui for Romance also suggests this.
8) Celebrate Special Days and Events together: Do you have some special days which means a lot to you and your partner? This can be Birthdays, Anniversary, Valentines or any other dates that have significant meaning or cause for celebration. Make sure you record these days in a personal calendar or organizer so that you won’t forget and make plans to celebrate in advance. You can also celebrate festivals or events like Christmas, Easter or even a New Year Day.
9) Smile Often and not frown: Smiling is contagious and is a very good habit to develop. Smiling helps to build connections so make sure you carry a genuine smile that can warm the heart and make you more attractive to your spouse.
Life is short and one should not spend it keeping grudges or wasting without enjoying it. Do not take your partner for granted but take every opportunity to celebrate your relationship. The tips listed above are small but definitely worth trying if you want to save your relationship, improve your Marriage by avoiding boredom and do not want it heading to marital infidelity or Divorce.www.marriagefamilyalive.gnbo.com.ng

Top 10 Mistakes Women make in Relationships with Men

1. Being clingy: Are you a clingy girlfriend? I don’t blame you, this is one major mistake many woman commit. I have even known girls who go to the extent of stalking their guys. If you are constantly around your man or talking to him always on phone, you need to stop. I have even seen girls who keep wrapping their arms around the partner in public and private alike as if declaring to the world that, ‘He is my private property. Keep away!’ Your partner may like your attention for some time but after that he might get annoyed. If you do not draw the line at constantly wanting to be around your Boyfriend, then he will look for ways to get away from you rather than spend his time with you. Just understand that your man has his own identity and interests and by being clingy you would only chase him away. Learn to trust your Partner and give him the required space. In short, have a life of your own too.
2. Not giving enough time to the Relationship: Girls want stability in relationships. They want relationships to end in the altar rather than break ups. Do not start talking about marriage and children too fast in your relationship. Allow things to take its natural course. Cherish your time together and do not rush your Guy demanding commitment from him in the initial phases of a relationship. Just try to be optimistic and enjoy your romance than worry about future. Frequent cancelling of dates can give him the impression that you do not like him enough to spend time with him. However, beware of men who have a commitment phobia and wants to be a ‘forever boyfriend’.
3. Not caring much about Appearance: Be presentable always. Make sure to look good and presentable in front of his family and friends. Dress decent without being trampy. When you are on a date out or spending time with him, make an effort to dress to impress. Take good care of your appearance and hygiene.
4. Taking your Guy for granted: Guys love attention too! Do things for your Guy. You may cook him a special dinner, arrange a romantic date, dress up for him (or dress down depending on the nature of your relationship), give him a surprise gift or do whatever you think he would like. Romantic gestures can play an important role in keeping your man happy. When your man is down or depressed, be his support and shoulder. Give him motivation or pampering when he needs it. Congratulate him on his accomplishments and make a point to make him extra special on days like his birthday, your anniversary, valentine’s day etc. Let him know that you love him and care for him.
5. Not being Respectful and Honest: Give your man the respect he deserves and never belittle him in front of others. Hiding secrets from your Boyfriend can harm your relationship. Even if you have done something you regret, it is better to tell him than let him find on his own. Lies often get caught and he will lose all that trust he had on you. If you have done a mistake, accept it and apologize. Develop that honesty and transparency in your communication in such a manner that he also would never hide anything from you. Be faithful to your Man. You may be risking your relationship by being deceitful and not being honest. Do not give any chance for your partner to point fingers at you.
6. Being too controlling: Allow your Man to make the first move. Men like to take the lead. Allow him to pursue you than the other way around. Let him initiate and plan the dates than you doing it from your side. This will help you know if he is genuinely interested in you or if you are just a convenience for him. However, there is no harm in you taking the initiative once in a while. However, do not take any crap from anyone, even if he is your boyfriend. Do not abuse your partner physically or verbally and never let him do that to you.
7. Comparing with Ex and talking of Past: Many girls commit the mistake of comparing their current Boyfriend with their Ex. This is one of the best things a girl can do if she wants to chase the Guy away. Even if you are playing the game to see how your Guy would react or if it was a harmless comparison made without thinking, your Guy would most probably take it as a sign that you have not fully moved on from your previous relationship. Even if he does not take it in that manner, comparisons are definitely going to hurt his ego and your relationship with him.
8. Try to keep him away from his friends or Family: Are you someone who always looks for excuses to keep your Man away from his friends and family? Do you object when he tells that he wants to go out with his Buddies and insist that he spends time with you? If so, it’s time you change. Just understand that his friends and family are his part of life much before you. Be friendly with his family and friends but never cross your limits by being over friendly or dominating. Your man would appreciate if you get along well with the people who matter to him. You may not like some of his friends but when you meet them make a conscious effort to be polite and nice with them.
9. Not understanding your Partner: One main characteristic of a good girlfriend is that she understands her partner well and her Boyfriend can rely on her to be there for him when he needs her. That is where good communication and spending quality time with your Guy regularly plays a vital role. Develop the comfort ability factor so that he feels at ease with you enough to share everything. Listen to his needs, worries and passions. Also trust him with your concerns and problems. Be supportive to your Guy’s Career and Hobbies. Understand his problems and pressures. Try to adapt to his likes and interests (This does not mean that you have to give up yours). Try doing things he like at times even if you would prefer to do something else. He would really appreciate that. Whenever there is a misunderstanding between you, make it a point to clear it immediately. Avoid talking about each and everything about your love life to your girlfriends or family members.The problems in your relationship are yours to tackle and as far as possible do not involve a third person in it. Try not to get into the nagging mode. A nagging girlfriend is as much as a turn off as a nagging wife. Maintain a positive outlook. Don't expect your Boyfriend to read your mind. Make sure that you voice your needs, desires and opinion but not in a demanding manner. If you are cribbing and complaining always, it would not take much time for your guy to run away from you.
10. Being Superficial: Don’t try to be someone whom you are not. Let your Guy see the real you. Let him like you and love you as yourself.

Getting a Boyfriend can be a great feeling for any girl. But if you do not treat your Guy right, you will be risking your relationship. There is a saying, ‘Treat others the way you want yourself to be treated’. When you do that you are likely to get the same too. Knowing how to be an ideal girlfriend and taking steps towards it is an excellent way to ensure that you end up with a wedding ring on your hand and not get dumped. Now that I have pointed out the mistakes a woman should avoid for being a good girlfriend, I hope you would take the advice and change your behavior.
You have got the man of your Dreams. Now it is your turn to appreciate the presence of your Boyfriend in your life and be a good girlfriend to him.

www.marriagefamilyalive.gnbo.com.ng

Wives Respect Your Husbands

Part One
Yes, the Bible says that. Our wife is commanded by God, the Creator of marriage, to respect us. As Pharaoh (Yul Brenner) said in the classic movie The Ten Commandments – “so let it be written, so let it be done”.

Our response to this command to our wives can take one of two directions:

1. God said it, so woman you need to do it. It should not matter how I live my life, how I treat you, respond to you, provide for you or protect you – you are just supposed to respect me. I am the man of the house, and that is just how things are going to be around here.


or,


2. God said it, so I need to live my life in such a way as to warrant her respect and admiration. I need to make it as easy as possible for her to obey the commandment.

I have known many men on each side of this fence. Some who seemingly don’t give a care about living an honorable/respectable lifestyle – yet, desire/expect/demand that their “little woman” love and respect them, and provide for their physical and emotional needs – without any complaining, whining or nagging. “So let it be written – so let it be done”.


While the previously mentioned “men” completely take God’s command out of context and use it for their own gratification – the other men I know (and try to be myself) are fully aware of the reciprocal command to husbands to “love your wife – as Christ loved the church (His bride) and gave himself up for her” in Ephesians 5.


We are commanded by God to love our wife, and give our life up on her behalf, irregardless of her response or obedience to her own command. Christ’s love for His bride did not (and does not) require/demand any action, reaction or response from her. He loved her anyway. He gave his very life for her. He voluntarily laid down his agenda, his rights, his life – in order that she might live life to the fullest.


Since God created marriage, He knows better than anyone that a wife will more naturally and willingly respect a husband who is laying down his life, in love, for her. The marriage cycle God created was “Husband loves wife unconditionally – Wife responds with love and respect for husband – Husband responds with love for wife”.
www.marriagefamilyalive.gnbo.com.ng

Since husbands are commanded to “love our wives and give ourselves up for them” – we cannot afford to sit back, point fingers and demand respect without first taking the initiative to obey God and do what He says. He says we (husbands) are the “head” of the home, and are responsible for initiating and maintaining His marriage cycle.


How do you do that? What can I do to earn her respect?
Making progress daily.

By Rob Thorpe, Used with permission. Read more from Rob at, square1ministries.com

If One Partner Cheats Can The Relationship Still Work?

If one partner cheats can the relationship still work? When one partner cheats in the marriage relationship, put aside anger and ego and decide how important sex is to the relationship. The relationship...

The relationship can definitely still work. It depends on whether the partner is going to continue cheating and how much the cheating mattered to you. This is really a hard topic. On an ego base, it matters a lot. We get possessive, angry, and upset, because we don't want somebody cheating on us. How dare they do this to me? On another level, it might totally destroy your trust in the marriage. You have to see if the person is going to keep doing it. If they are not going to stop doing it, you have to decide whether you can accept that. There are couples who just have the agreement to do whatever they want, where the relationship is primary, but they both have sex with other people. I am not okay with that in my marriage, but there are people who are. If it's not acceptable to you, and the other person is not willing to change, you may need to get out of the relationship.

If your partner is cheating because they are not being satisfied by you, there is another element there. For instance, if my husband is not every getting any passion from me after years of being married, he may say, "Forget this. I don't need a roommate. I am going to go get it elsewhere." Would I be able to blame him for this? I am not showing up in the marriage in the way that we agreed upon in the beginning which was that we were to be exclusive sexual partners. I have to stop respond to my husband in a way that he is not so inspired to go out and look for somebody else. It may or may not work. I am not trying to suggest that it's the woman's fault or the man's fault if your partner is cheating, but sometimes it is. I personally think our marriages and our relationships should be a safe sanctuary where we come home and retreat from the rest of the world. We should come home to restore, renew, and rejuvenate to strengthen ourselves to go back out and face the world. www.marriagefamilyalive.gnbo.com.ng

Go Ahead, Have an Affair (with your spouse)!

Go Ahead, Have an Affair (with your spouse)!

In the last few months, I've been introduced to the idea by Dr. Diana Kirschner of pretending to have an ongoing affair with your spouse to keep passion alive. I remember she said to me once, when I was complaining about not having time or energy for sex, "Well, what would kind of time and energy would you create if you were having an affair?"
This got my attention. What would I be like? I imagined I would find all kinds of creative ways to sneak in quickies and send steamy texts and be up in the middle of the night for a hot toss in the sheets. Making out would occur naturally and, well, so would lots of other things... So, I tried it out. Yowza! My husband and I took things to a whole new level!
I hear all the time, especially from women, that sex isn't all that important, that they're too tired, too overburdened by chores and work and kids. No doubt; I hear ya people. But, remember how you used to make out with each other? Remember how you couldn't wait to see each other and could stay up all night. Don't you miss that? Wouldn't you want to know how to recreate that from time to time?
Having ongoing passion really is a state of mind. It's about making sex with your spouse playful, a game to be played to keep up the intimacy, fun and the connection. Believe me, suddenly chores get done (or, blown off completely), kids get put to bed and the bedroom becomes alive when you just start pretending that you can't get enough of each other. Pretty soon, it's no longer pretending.
To start, all it takes is one simple steamy text message or note. Or doing something completely different and unexpected. Start flirting with your spouse like you used to. Give compliments and stand in awe when he or she walks in the room. Meet each other in hotel rooms and make out in the back seat of a car. Life is short. Sex is fun. Go do it!
For more thoughts on sex and marriage, see my article on marriage sex.

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Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.

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Enjoying the Gift of Sex in Your Marriage

By Samantha Krieger

When my husband and I moved to Dallas five years ago, we joined a church that stressed the importance of living in authentic community. We plugged into a small group that consisted of couples who’d been married 1-3 years. Our mentor couple paved the way for us to be open and accountable in all areas of our marriage, including the often-taboo topic of sex.

One evening around the table in confidentiality, one of the girls told just us girls about the concerns she had in her sexual relationship with her husband. It had been several weeks since they made love. Most evenings she was tired from work, being a mom, and just didn’t feel in the mood. She was frustrated and knew he was too. Above all, she was concerned about his purity.
We listened and encouraged her to be intentional about having a regular time for intimacy and that we would hold her accountable. We gave her ideas to freshen things up and what we acknowledged right away was that her situation was not extraordinary. We had been there as wives before and probably would again.
How God intended sex to be          
When you’re single and dating sex is so incredibly enticing, it’s easy to think that sex will be so easy in marriage. Besides, you love each other so much. How could something so delightful take so much work?
But you quickly realize after the wedding day and honeymoon that you have to be diligent at cultivating your sexual relationship with your spouse. Keeping it alive and exciting doesn’t always come naturally. Sex can become common. And arguments and conflict often surface when sexual intimacy is lacking.
But the amazing thing is that God designed sexual intimacy between a husband and wife to be enjoyable, even in the midst of life’s demands, as well as our own insecurities and imperfections. He designed sex to be delightful, vibrant, intoxicating, pleasing, fun, adventurous, and bonding. But I can’t promise that you’ll see the marriage relationship portrayed like that on your flat screen.
The secret of the joy of sex
In Song of Solomon, Chapter 4, King Solomon and the Shulamite woman have consummated their marriage. Their sexual desires and passions are no longer restrained. They are diving into all the delights they’ve been waiting for with wild passion:

I have entered my garden, O my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my balsam spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk!” (Song of Solomon 5:1)
His legs are alabaster columns, set on bases of gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as the cedars. His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem” (5:15-17).
May your mouth be like the best wine, flowing smoothly for my beloved, gliding gently over our lips as we sleep together” (7:9).
I am my beloved’s, and he desires me! (7:10)

Those are just a few words out of lines of descriptive Hebrew poetry that reveal the beauty of Solomon and his bride’s sexual relationship. Who needs romance novels and movies when you can just pick up the Bible! God clearly had a purpose for including it in Scripture. He cares about the sexual relationship because he created it as a good thing.
In marriage, God has given us the incredible blessing of enjoying our spouse’s body, mind, soul, and spirit to its absolute fullest. And it’s a pleasure we get to enjoy for however many years God gives us with our spouse.
In the book Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, contributor Ben Patterson says,

The gigantic secret of the joy of sex is this: Sex is good because the God who created sex is good. And God is glorified greatly when we receive his gift with thanksgiving and enjoy it the way he meant for it to be enjoyed.”

If we don’t accept the gift of our sexual relationship with thanksgiving and joy, then we’re being disobedient to God’s word and doing a huge disfavor to our spouse’s needs and to their purity. But when we enjoy the gift of sex with a joyful and selfless heart as God intended, there is nothing better in the world that exists.
The reality of sexual brokenness
If sexual brokenness or victimization has been a reality for you prior to marriage, no pain is too great for God to heal and restore. It’s never too late to seek biblical counsel with your spouse and bring to light those hurts. Talking about your sexual past can help save you from a lot of pain on down the road and can save your marriage.
Past or present misuses of sexuality like adultery, fornication, masturbation, pornography, and so on that have entered the marriage bed are never beyond God’s forgiveness and grace. God is in the redemption business. Our sin and struggles with sin are why we so desperately need the cross. In our unfaithfulness, Jesus already paid our debt. And He is always calling us back to him.
Committed to the sexual relationship
The sexual relationship with our spouse is a huge deal and we were created to enjoy the gift of sex to its fullest. It must be protected and kept a priority.
It’s neat to see how over the years the friend in my small group has grown in her intimacy with her husband. She started making changes when it came to the time of day they were intimate—she bought new lingerie, and made sure she was taking care of herself physically in the midst of being a busy mom and working.
Her husband appreciated the efforts made and they’re doing well in their overall relationship today. They’re committed to keeping their sexual relationship the best it can be, while recognizing that there will be days that are harder than others.
My friend’s efforts continue to encourage all the wives in our group to honor God and our husbands in such a way.
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Samantha Krieger

Samantha Krieger is a writer and editor in Dallas, TX. Through story, personal reflection, and biblical insight she is passionate about helping others live out their faith in everyday life. Prior to becoming a stay-at-home mom, she wrote adult Bible study curriculum for Bluefish TV—one of the largest Christian video publishing companies. She’s written for LifeWay Christian Resources, Focus on the Family, Ungrind, and has contributed to books on Christian living. She holds a B.A. in English from Liberty University and a M.A. in Religion with an emphasis in Church Ministries from Liberty Theological Seminary. Samantha and her husband, Jeremiah, have two children: John (2) and Rebekah (10 mos). She blogs weekly at: samanthakrieger.com and tweets at: @samanthakrieger.

Posted in Articles, Sex | Tagged marriage, relationships, sex, spirituality | 12 Responseswww.marriagefamilyalive.gnbo.com.ng

5 Sex positions women die to have

It's time to upgrade your sex life, and to get your partner turned on like never before.
We already knew that women love sex, but have we ever thought of sex positions women really enjoy or feel comfortable while reaching orgasm? There are many sex positions out there, only some of them give more pleasure to women.

Women are always ready to accept and enjoy men's favorite sex positions but women seldom ask for their favourite position(s). The time has come for men to understand what women really want in bed. Remember, great sex happens only when there is a smooth balance between pleasure and comfort.
We bring you five amazing sex positions you need to explore and women always wanted to have.
1. Get dirty with doggy style: Women definitely enjoy doggy style. It is probably one of the best sex positions, and also the most arousing position for men. Make sure to perform this style with intimacy and pleasure.
2. The overused style, missionary position: No doubt, the man-on-woman position is the most common one. It's boring but sex mostly begins with missionary position, and women still like it. In this position women get more intimate with their partners through eye contact.
3. Women like riding, cowgirl style: It's a big turn-on for both the sexes, and perhaps the sexiest sex position. Sometimes women like to dominate men during sex. In this position women can move back and forth and stimulate their G-spot for a big orgasm. You may also try reverse cowgirl position.
4. Get more intimate with spoons position: Side by side sexual position is one of the most comfortable sex positions, and it can really last long. Get naughtier by doing some dirty talk while you can.
5. Out of control, the standing position: Sometimes women want to jump out of the bed and play again in standing position. In this style, she sits on a surface and he thrust her from the front as deeply as he can, and in all likelihood gets the chance to hit the G-spot. Try this position in the kitchen or on a tabletop.
Simply go ahead and give your girl the most amazing orgasm of her life.www.marriagefamilyalive.gnbo.com.ng