Tips on Fixing a Broken Relationship

marriage and family

Relationships are so delicate and can break on minor issues and simple misunderstandings. Once broken, it is a die-hard task to mend the relationship and get back the same intensity of affection in the relationship. There can be visible reasons, may be a misunderstanding or communication gap, at times it can be a mistake of someone else; fragile relationships can break over any simple cause. The cause for the easy breaks in relationships is that relationships are mind products, subjective to each person.
Many relationships are not the union of best possible matches but best available pairs, or when people misconceive the partner so. Relationships start blindly by peripheral understandings and attraction; it proceeds through adjustments, forgiveness and understanding; and breakup over misunderstandings, mistakes or lack of tolerance. Getting back into the relationship, though difficult, is possible if approached the issues with the right understanding and mind to change and mend.

Understand the Reasons Behind Breakup

To resolve any issue, understanding the reasons is important. Without knowing the root cause, relationship issues cannot be repaired. It can be a past reason which is now absent or a still persisting reason. Analyze each stages of the relationship and find out at which point what has gone wrong. Once the reasons of the break up are realized, the solution may be easy. Figuring out the element that lead to the breakup helps the partners to change it and get back into the relationship. Experts say that the process of figuring out the reasons of breakup can be much effective if made mutual.

Forgiving is Magical

Once the issues are dug out, the next step is to forgive the mistakes of both the partners. If you still hold on to the mistake committed by the partner, then it may cause another breakup in the future. Understand why the partner committed such a mistake and forgive him/her forever if you wish to take the relationship a long way further. Your forgiveness may initiate a new life and new relationship between you two. If the mistake is found to have committed by you, then be ready to change entirely to not to repeat the action and let your partner to go away forever, leaving no chance of a reunion.

Renew the Commitment

Once you are back in track, renew the commitment and let your partner know the new resolutions and decisions. Once you commit to be good to your partner and also to avoid mistakes, then adhere to the commitments. Many partners get into commitments and they forget them easily. Consistency of commitments is very much required to keep the warmth of relationships ever remaining. It is rightly said that you can never change the past; but possibly the future. Realize the past mistakes and commit to not repeat them in the future.

Change Yourself

You may not be able to change the partner as you desire; but you can very well change yourself. Changing yourself is the better way of resolving the issues and renewing the problems. The changes may make you appear more appealing and accepted by the partner. You can also try to implement certain changes in the partner but if the person is willing, then the only way is to change yourself to comply with the partner. Changing oneself doesn't mean being submissive to the partner, but following a better way to be in a more satisfying relationship.

Communication is the Keystone

Most of the issues in relationships can be resolved with right communication with the partner. It is commonly observed that slight misunderstanding or ignorable mistakes are many a times the cause for several breakups. Approach the issues in a relationship, positively and try to make each partners understand the real situation. Communication means conveying the facts and truth and also offering support, help and forgiveness each other. Talk with a mind of acceptance. Do not try to defend or resist the arguments of the partner and accuse each other for all the mistakes. Let the communication be creative, rather critical.

Common Problems in Modern Relationship and Romance

Romance or love is believed to the most beautiful feeling that a person can have in his life. Relationships give us love, strength , and the much needed support required for any individual to face the hardships of life. It is also a kind of mental condition where you feel good because you know that someone loves you and you mean someone his/her world and vice versa.
But maintaining a committed relationship is everything but a simple task. There are situations where your love will have to pass through the test of times. If the problems generated in the relationship, and that is inevitable, are not addressed efficiently, that may lead to further problems which eventually may lead to a disaster for the two involved in that.

The most common issue that you face while sorting out your relationship problems is where and how to start with. Talking about the most common relationships is a daunting task because they vary in their range and complexity. It becomes difficult for the individual alone to go towards a solution. But thankfully, now a days there is professional help that is available and can be sought where the councilors try to help you as much as possible.
The most common problems faced by the modern couples in the contemporary times are the following

1. Comfort levels and compatibility
2. There are several factors that govern the compatibility quotient between couples. Their likes, dislikes , habits and day to day behavior towards certain things and situations all come under this umbrella. Without adequate levels of compatibility it is natural to have problems in relationship.
   
3. Level of intimacy
4. Physical and emotional intimacy is a governing factor for a love relationship. You need to know how your partner is feeling mentally or physically all the time and support him/her on those aspects. Same applies to you partner too. If there is no intimacy, there is a disconnect and people tend to fall apart from a relationship.
   
5. Violence
6. Domestic violence is a commonly reported problem that ends marriages and long term togetherness.
   
7. Inequality in the couple
8. Not being loyal to the partner.
9. Infidelity is another top reason why people in a relation generate hatred and dismay in a relation and choose to move out. Always try to be loyal to your partner as it is good for your physical as well as mental health.
   
10. Not communicating well enough.
11. Sexual problems and orientation.common problems in romance

Tips to Bring Back Love & Romance into Your Life

Any relationship, be it romantic or otherwise; needs a touch or two of rejuvenation for its sustenance and survival. The urgently appealing call for revitalization which is one of the key pre conditions to the longevity of relationship based on romance and mutual trust; can be ensured through careful and effective planning.

Romance Rejuvenation Tips - Improve Love & Romance in Life

Just as automated mechanisms and equipments call for oiling and servicing; similar is called for from the points of view of sustainability of human relationships. This is particularly true of romantic relationship which requires cautioned and delicate handling.

• Trips short or long serve to energize and refresh romance by doing away with long standing boredom or monotony. Mundane mediocrities of life giving way to boredom can be easily got over with the occasional planning of trips and stopover. As it is, the core value of properly planned trips and vacations exceeds the worth of any sum of accumulated possession or wealth
• It can either be a short stop over to a site away from home or a properly planned vacation to a chosen tourist destination.
• Sudden and surprise gifts extended to your beloved, partner or husband can also count amongst the romance rejuvenating tips. Gifting may not be treated as an occasion bound phenomena and when gifts transcend the limits of special occasions or events; they definitely add to the thrill of romance.
• Planning of an act or entertainment particularly longed for by your beloved may also turn out to be an effective romance rejuvenating tip. In case he happens to be one of those ardent foodies, tossing up the dish of his choice can come as an interesting relief making way for rejuvenation.
  Similarly planning a trip to his favored holiday resort or for that matter arranging for combined viewing of a flick portraying his chosen matinee idol can turn out to be a delightful idea.
• To break the commonplace spells of boredom or monotony, add a personal touch to romance to show your caring concern for your beloved. Do something out of ordinary like planning a candle light dinner within the precincts of your house to enliven the dying embers of romance and passion.
• In case he is emotionally attached to a friend or relation; surprise invitation extended to him/her can add a touch of glow to your beloved's life; thereby indirectly serving to add to the meaningfulness of your emotional bond.
• Occasional planning of outdoor picnics together with friends or joint viewing of football or rugby match for your sports freak beloved are some of the ways whereby you can keep the glow of romance alive and burning.
• Suddenly surprising decision to bring in a new look to your bedroom by bringing about a change in its drapery, lighting and setting can go a long way in invigorating the physical as well as the emotional aspects of romance.
• Having his/hers study beautified with a placard displaying ten or so reasons why you love him/her more than anybody else may significantly brighten up your partner's day by adding to the thrill of romance.
• Try spicing up your love life by indulging in a game or two with your partner. It need not be an outdoor game always. Going for some of the simple board games like scrabble, darts and puzzles may prove to be interesting options from the viewpoint of romance and thrill.
• Occasional break from the mechanized bounds of professional activities for spending a day in each other's company can be another option serving to spruce up the dying romance. You may even have your kids packed off to your parents' or in laws place in order to relax and revel in the cozy togetherness.

It should be borne in mind that healthy sustenance of love or romance depends a lot on reciprocated sharing and caring. Try to be innovatively demonstrative in your show of love and affection in order to keep it glowing and long lasting.www.marriagefamilyalive.gnbo.com.ng

Tips on making your family a happy family

marriagefamilyFamilies are the essential building blocks of any society and happy families make a happy society. Everyone wants to live in a happy family as family is the place where human beings find the accomplishment of life. Modern families often face multiple relationship issues which have emerged as contribution of the changed lifestyle and les intense relationships.
Living in a happy family is important to mould each and every human being into responsible social beings. Home and families are places where kids and elders live with a feeling of security and also places of sharing, love, care and concern. Mutual understanding, adjustments and love creates the unbreakable bond between family members and if taken care of certain aspects, any family can be made a happy family.
Making a happy family is no magic as it requires just an extra strained nerve, to nurture love, to facilitate communication and to make each feel contented and secure. Let us see few of the inevitable building blocks that make a happy family.

Be There for Each One in the Family

Presence or availability is the most essential bonding factor that enhances the family relationship. Parents should be available for kids in each of their needs and similarly the couples each other. It should be with the family that each of the family members spends most of their time. Never take the work stress or other unwanted tensions home. As you step into the home, the prior concern should be home only.
Find time to talk to each of the members and arrange activities for the entire family to take part. Family prayers, cooking, watching television, outing etc., are perfect family activities to make a happy family. Family should not be considered a place to just rest after the work and eat the food.

Express the Affection and Warmth

Many people say that they love the family and when it comes to the action they remain unexpressive and quite. Family is the place one learns the basics of love, affection, warmth, encouragement and sharing. Express your affection and attachment towards other members in family with gestures, action and words. Telling just the three words 'I love you' makes others understand the depth of your concern for them.
Do not miss an opportunity to be affectionate with the spouse and kids. Let the entire family move on experiencing a warmth feeling. Unexpressed love is equal to no love at all. Encouragement is another important aspect that boosts the happiness and affection in the family. Be lavish enough to encourage the family members in all their attempts and even for the minute successes.

Communicate Frequently and Effectively

Communication is the key to build a jovial family. Be positive in your communication within the family and truly, the positive communication is the language of love. Talk to each other in the family frequently and designating family together times every day is helpful to this purpose. Even between the spouses, talking eases the tensions and promotes the attachment. Never argue or shout at each other unnecessarily. Family should be a place everyone wants to be with always.

Rituals of affection and honor

Experts say that family rituals are mandatory to maintain the relationships. There are specific practicable family rituals same as religious or national. Weekly outdoor dinners, monthly pleasure trips, family songs, visiting relatives, family cooking day etc., are some of the family rituals that are helpful to bind the entire family with the strings of affection. Such activities are also called rituals of honor as they help each of the family members to understand each other and learn to honor them.
Fights, Blames and Anger are Destructive
Parents should be cautious to not fight before the children and blame each other for mistakes. Horrifying expressions of anger is also equally destructive. When one of the family members makes the entire family life worse with such negative expressions, others may feel family as a disliked place to be. When parents fight before the kids, they are, in fact, teaching the kids with a wrong lesson of communication. Children of fighting parents may become rebels and antisocial in the future life.

Equality is the Best Quality

Considering each of the family members equal and not being partial to anyone is the best qualities a family member can posses. When everybody in the family is considered equal it boosts the confidence, security feeling and affection. Accept the opinions of everyone in the family when family related decision are taken and facilitate mutual respect among family members if you wish to convert your family into a happy family

What Men Look For in Sex

Sexuality is not defined the same for men and women. As the hormones differ, as the genetic elements differ, sexuality too differs for both men and women. Both the partners look for sexual satisfaction in every sexual act; but, the ways men prefer to reach the peak are very much different from that of women.
Men, of course, live in a dissimilar realm of fantasy and carvings when it comes to lovemaking. The reason for disgruntled sexual lives, most often, is the lack of understanding and unshared desires among the couple. Sharing the wishes and passions about sexual activities can resold the issues a larger extent and render happy and satisfied bed hours to each couple.

Self turn on

It is a biological or psychological fact that man turns himself on much faster than a woman does. Male genetic mechanism turns on itself when it comes to sexuality but female sexual drives need a bit of time and efforts from the male counterpart to activate. This slow revved process is not liked by many men. It is a fact that a large group of men like women who turn on themselves on bed; also women who take initiative themselves are liked all the more by men.

Men look for more fun

Lovemaking is no more just the activity of procreation for men. They look for more fun and maximum possible pleasure and satisfaction in the activity. Certain positions, certain practices etc., are wished by every man while on sex. Exploring varieties is loved by men. The only solution to find the funniest and satisfying ways is to talk on sexual interests and desires. Women fantasize much but men want to actualize the fantasies.

Men like to express it all

Suppressing the sexual wishes is the not the manly way of sexuality. They want it to be talked out. Psychologists reveal the fact that men always love to be guided in lovemaking. If the female counterpart can guide him through the action, expressing the pleasing ways to her, men achieve the highest peaks.
Many couple becomes failure on bed as they hesitate to express themselves or talk the sexual passions, being afraid of the reaction of the partner. Talking, discussing, and expressing the loved positions, desired practices and wished ways help men to fulfill his sexual needs in the most satisfactory way.

Variety makes him conciliated

Men always look for variety in sexuality. The routine lovemaking with the same emotion, same position and same mood will make him ruin the spirit of the action. When you feel that your sexual life is growing dry, try to discuss each other and bring variety in the act. The mindset of men is much different from that of women. A typical woman may satisfy herself with the action and possibilities men suggests. But men can get bored soon with the same type sex every day.
Changes in speed, position, pressure etc., will make him feel variety. There are no unrestricted areas in sexuality; thus trespass wherever you want to enjoy the act to the maximum. It is a misconception that bed is the only platform for sexuality. Once in a while you can try it in the bathroom, kitchen and even in the swimming pool if you have enough privacy there.

Let him dominate

Most men do not tolerate women dominating over them, at least, in sexuality. Though, he likes getting guided and expressed of the counterpart's desires, he wants to be the boss of the action always. Sexuality is a realm where men seek fulfillment of his fantasies, ambitions and passions in the way he likes it. Though many men compromise on this part considering the partner's desires, if surrendered to his domination, he will enjoy sexuality more fruitfully.

Let him feel emotional peaks

It is the emotional heights that satisfy him more than physical climaxes. Though sex is incomplete with a physical climax of ejaculation for men, emotional elements will make him more involved the act. Massages, talks, various positions etc., will make him more satisfied. If men feel that each of his action is loved and enjoyed by the partner he may grow more active in the action of sex.
Let him get the hint that you enjoy the actions by talking or through physical gestures. This will make him more emotionally satisfied. Sex, basically, is the act of sharing your love and emotions; thus expressing and exploring it in the maximum possible ways will make the action ever fresh and satisfying.

Sex Addiction Causes, Symptoms - Sex Addiction Treatment

What is Sex Addiction? Can lust addict you?

An addiction is the condition of psychological dependence on psychoactive substances. Usually the word addiction is mentioned along with the alcoholism, drug usage etc. A particular habit becomes an addiction when a person looses self determining powers to either control or stop the behavior or activity. Just as alcoholism or drug addiction, certain practices or mentalities also can create an addiction. Sexual addiction is one of the destructive behavioral abnormalities.
Though, sexuality is an inborn instinct of human beings, to maintain healthy social relationships and mature social association we all express the sexuality in a very controlled form. But people who are addicted to lust may loose the self control and think or act in abnormal ways. The urge for sexual pleasure will shoot into greater degrees in a lust addicted. They may get indulged in several accepted or restricted realms of sexuality.

Symptoms of lust addiction

A person himself is the right diagnosing agent to find if he/she is addicted to lust. It is a common trait that lust addiction remains hidden within the subconscious mind and only the addicted can, many a times; recognize the level and depth of the addiction. It is a folly to think that a lust addicted may emerge a social nascence. It is also not necessary that a lust addict may exhibit his/her addiction in public.
A majority of sexual addicts don't even recognize their addiction and still lives happily. Only in extreme cases one may need clinical counseling or medication. The prime symptom of lust addiction is too much interest in the opposite sex and in sexual activities. Compulsive and extreme sexual behavior is the signature of a sex addict.
It is quite natural to have interest in sexuality and also in opposite sex, but when the necessary interest gives way to uncontrollable condition, then it is an addiction. Sexual activities like masturbation or lovemaking several times a day can be another possible symptom of lust addiction. Over interest on pornography, sexual talks, weird fantasies etc., can all be sexual addiction symptoms.

Causes of sexual addiction

Addiction to lust can be caused by multiple factors. Hormonal imbalance is the prime accuse. Overproduction of some hormones is said to have the result of sexual addiction. Abused sexual interests share a great role to donate sexual addiction to a person. People who are sexually abused in the childhood may grow addicts in the future. Use of intoxicating drugs is another igniter of sexual addiction. These drugs will make them to conceive abstract fantasies and illogical impressions about sexuality. Once addicted to the lust, the brain starts producing intense biochemical materials too add fuel to the fire.

Prevention of lust addiction

As any other psychological or behavioral addiction, lust addiction also can be prevented effectively and completely. Changing the mindset and infusing irrevocable resolutions are the ultimate cure for sexual addictions. To a great degree, minor lust addictions could be recovered or, at least, controlled by a person himself.
Deliberate withdrawal from the particular behavior which you consider as an addiction is the best option. There are clinical cure too for lust addiction. Since sexual addiction is more psychological, counseling by a sexologist will bring drastic changes. If the disease is due to hormonal imbalances, a physician can help you with drugs that control or mend the hormonal conditions.

Clinical cure for sex addiction

Sexual addiction is clinically determined by an adaptive of DSM-IV criteria. A sex addict may continuously fail to control his behavior despite all the destructive consequences. Clinically lust addiction is referred as 'addiction model of sexual addiction'. Physicians or psychologist determine the nature of sexual addiction through the diagnoses of visible signs of addiction. Over interest in matters related to sex, several short-lived relationships, fetish sexuality, sexual offensive behavior etc., can be clues to sexual addiction. Infidelity of both sexual and emotional is another hint of lust addiction.
To treat sex addiction, first of all, the addicted has to admit the problems and should seek assistance open-heartedly. Being a more psychological than physical illness, sexual addiction can be cured by helping the patient to reduce seclusion chances and promote ways of integration. Helping the addict to adapt transparent behavioral pattern is another way of treatment.
If the addiction is caused by physical imbalances like hormonal problems, then there are drugs to be consumed by the patient to control or balance the abnormalities. Sexual addiction, if not treated on time and in the proper manner can result in self destruction and also in social crimes.

Effective communication within the family

Communication is not the mere verbal exchange of information in the families. It is the expression of respect, affection and concern. Communication doesn't refers to the verbal alone in the family, but physical expressions, gestures and even an affectionate look can be communicative in the family.
It is through the communication the members of the family express their requirements, love, desires, advises etc., to each other person in the family. Family communication is very much different from that with formal communication. Experts say that there are four styles of family communication. Clear and direct communication, clear and indirect communication, masked and direct communication and masked and indirect communication.
Each of these styles has benefits and disadvantages; thus, it is the communicator who has to decide which style to be used according the situations. Whatever are the styles of communication and modes of it, people agree in a point that communication is the essential instrument or bonding factor in the family life.

There are many practical tips to make the communication between the family members more effective. Let us see some of them.

The focus is preference, not principles

Family is the place where no strict or inflexible rules are applicable and principles always remain subordinates to preferences. Focusing on the preferences simply means to give more importance to the personal likes and methods than rules and regulations. For example, you can't just implement a rule that everyone should be silent after 10 at night. It may be the only convenient time for one of the family members to communicate with others.
Be flexible in communication. It is not what others follow that is to be considered the standard in your communication in the family. There are no right time, right way and right place for communication in the family. Implicating principles for communication will make the process completely official and people may feel it mechanical, rather affectionate.

Be positive

Negative and sarcastic communication will destroy the warmth of family talking. Do not over criticize or approach everything in negative way. Certain people cling to sarcasm when they talk to others, especially with family members. This will destroy the mood of talks and others may withdraw themselves deliberately from the family communications.
You can be corrective but even then try to be positive maximum possible. Positive communication is much influencing and effective than criticisms. Creative criticism is helpful in family but always define limits to criticism. Let the communication be appreciating, encouraging, supporting and soothing.

Exaggeration is unaccepted

Many people tend to exaggerate too much when they express their emotions or feelings in the family. Exaggeration is used as a mode of easing the mental tension, but may destroy the family harmony. When you talk or express the feelings be lavish only to the limit of the tolerance of others. Frequent exaggerated talks may make others bored and distrusted in your words and actions.

Let it be more than just verbal

Let the communication in the family be more than just a verbal expression. Even the presence of other family members can communicate a lot. The presence of parents conveys the messages of safety, love and concern to the kids. Similarly, the presence of spouse communicates the feeling of warmth. Use gestures of affection lavishly in the communication. Even when you scold or correct a child or spouse, hold them and talk to them in the most pleasing manner may help the messages to be accepted in the desired manner. A kiss, a hug, an appreciation, a thumps up gesture, everything can tell more than words can do.

Be clear, be gentle and be precise

Being clear, gentle and precise is the rule applicable to any communication; so is to family communication. Do not leave blanks for others to assume or interpret in family communication. If you want to say something to the children or spouse, make your point clear in the most pleasing way. Do not beat around the bush and make others unknown of the messages you intended to pass. Being calm and gentle when you communicate is helpful to invite the attention and action of others. Angry expressions or thoughtless words may be taken lightly, also may not yield the expected reaction.

Be frequent in communication

Communication should not be like a timetabled ritual at home. Find opportunity to talk to other members at home every day and every time. Frequent and casual communication not only helps you to express your feelings exactly, but also encourages others to talk. Mutual communication helps people to grow in affectionate relationship with each other