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Thursday, December 29, 2011

My Cheating Spouse Makes False Promises 5 Tips on How to Resolve the Situation

When you find out that your spouse has been cheating on you, it is one of the most disheartening feelings a person can experience. It is especially devastating when you learn that your spouse has actually been cheating with multiple persons or with the same person over a period of time.
Marital infidelity is one of those things that can ruin the sacred bond of trust that exists within a marriage. When a spouse cheats, it is one of the most profound ways that they can disrespect their partner.

It is particularly hard if you have caught your spouse one or more times either directly or through irrefutable evidence that shows they have not been faithful to you. You may have even approached your spouse about what you have found out, only to learn that they are still making false promises to you about stopping their cheating ways.

If you are saying to yourself, My cheating spouse makes false promises, here are 5 tips on how to resolve the situation:

1. Journal to yourself how you feel about the situation:
For most people who have been cheated on by their spouses, their thoughts and feelings on the topic are very strong but also very jumbled. This is likely the case because an affair brings up a lot of emotions at once, including anger, inadequacy, frustration, jealousy, and sadness.

To help clear your head, start a journal about what you are feeling right now. You do NOT need to be a good writer in order to do this. Just write down whatever comes to mind. You could write it to your spouse or just to yourself. You never have to show it to anyone, but going through this exercise can help you sort everything out.

2. Decide what you need out of the marriage:
Next, re examine what you used to want out of your marriage as well as what you want now. What needs do you have and how does your spouse currently fit into the picture in terms of fulfilling those needs?

3. Determine whether you want to stay in the marriage at all:
Be honest with yourself while asking what you want out of this marriage. After all of this, do you still want to stay with your spouse?

4. Confront your spouse with the choice they need to make:
Next, it is time to really confront your spouse. Set aside a special time and place and bring up the topic of your spouse s cheating. Remind him or her that they have made false promises to you in the past about stopping their cheating. Let your spouse know that the cheating has to stop once and for all or they will risk losing you for good. Note: you have to really mean this in order for it to be effective.

5. If your spouse comes clean, put together a plan for overcoming the affair:
When and if you feel that your spouse has come to terms with what they have done and is ready to change for the better, commit to each other to putting together a plan for overcoming the affair and rebuilding the love and trust between you.

Consider these 5 tips for how to overcome the affair and find the love again, together. Author Resource:- Find tools and techniques needed to survive an affair that were designed by an expert who has helped over 10,000 couples do the same at: We Can Survive The Affair