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Monday, April 29, 2013

The Correct Way to Eat Humble Pie

Do you know that sinking feeling you get the very minute you realize that you messed up? That moment when you said something you regret and it's seconds too late to stop it from coming out of your mouth? That instant when you did something that you can't undo? That realization that you're going to have to eat some humble pie again?

We all do. This is the place where regret is born. You should never live with regret… especially if you don't have to. Regret could be summed up as that inner turmoil that threatens to consume every day of your life until you stare it down, size it up, and put it to rest once and for all. Some say that this is easier said than done. While that may be true, the recipe for eliminating regret only requires a few simple ingredients. What follows is the recipe for humble pie.

Be Sincerely Sorry
You need to humbly admit when you are wrong. Even if it takes some time to see how you hurt someone who matters to you (just don't drag this out), you need to realize that they have indeed been hurt. At this point, it matters little that you did not intend to hurt anyone, clearing up that issue will come later. When you understand the degree to which another was hurt, your pride starts to crumble. And pride is the enemy of true humility.

And don't merely say, "I'm sorry" or say it in a manner that conveys you don't really mean it anyway. Communicate your realization about the offense. In other words, "I'm sorry that I hurt you by saying or doing _________________ (fill in the blank)." You may even add, "I feel just horrible about it and I wish I could undo it."




Seek Forgiveness
While sincerely saying, "I'm sorry" is a solid start, you're just getting warmed up. Next you need to seek forgiveness. When you ask someone to forgive you it serves to validate your sincere apology. It also asks the other person to respond. Since most people don't want to be unforgiving, they will try to offer the forgiveness you are seeking. Even if they are not ready to forgive just yet, you have still taken an important step toward resolution.

Make a Change
One of the most authentic ways to demonstrate your sincerity is to take action so that you will not repeat what you did in the first place. How can you keep your mouth in check? Do you need to learn when it's time to take a walk and calm your temper? Can you be more aware of your own defensiveness or assumptions that contributed to your mistake? Whatever it is in your situation, you need to wrestle with any changes that can be made.

This can often be the most challenging step since it requires repeated and deliberate rehashing of the event with yourself. It's easy to move on after the apology and forgiveness, but that would be a mistake that could lead to another similar situation in the future. In fact, the next time could be much worse since it implies that you learned nothing from the last time!

Be Accountable
After you have worked on some changes, ask your spouse if they have noticed your efforts. Of course, you are hoping that they say, "YES!" But even if they say, "no," you have still communicated your sincerity and your desire to do what you can. And who can argue with that? The worst case scenario here is that you continue to work on any changes and your spouse is more aware that you are trying.


Humble pie can taste just awful and regret is a bitter pill to swallow, but you may not have to do either if you learn to be proactive in seeking forgiveness and making changes.

If you ever have questions, need clarification or help, or just want to offer some constructive criticism, we would love to get an email from you.


By Brad & Tami Miller. Contact us at brad@RestorationCS.com. Copyright © 2013

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Getting out of the Rut?

I think my husband and I have gotten so used to not having sex that it makes it difficult for both of us to initiate. How do we change and get rid of the feelings of awkwardness and hesitation?
A.

Start small and slowly. Take your husband back to one of the places you went to when you were first dating. If you can't do that, get out a photo album from your early days and, with no other distractions, share some of your hottest memories. Then ask your husband what he was first attracted to in you. Get him going by volunteering what you found attractive in him, from his smile to the way he first kissed you. Make sure there are no interruptions -- cell phones off! -- and treat it like a real date.
Couples who do this regularly have proven to reconnect successfully. Once you feel that intimate bond is being established again, ask about his fantasies. Be willing to share yours too. Turn it into a little sex game, where one night you describe your fantasy and then plan a weekend to act it out. Also, make it clear to him that quality, not quantity, counts. Let him know that you're not demanding to go back to having sex three or four times a week, as couples do early in their relationships.
Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure

Monday, April 22, 2013

What Do You Do if Your Husband Has Small Penis Complex?

My husband has a small-penis complex even though we have a great sex life. What can I do?
A.

Traditionally, men are competitive -- at sports, at work, in the gym, and over women -- and this extends to penis size, where they want to measure up. Since he's worried about his size, you need to encourage him to become the "king of foreplay" and pleasure you with loads of caressing that'll get you aroused. But it's key not to pander to his insecurity by overtalking it. That's when you're likely to say something accidentally hurtful. Also, give him the facts: It's the first three inches of your vagina that have the most nerve endings, so all he needs is three inches when erect to stimulate them!
As for penetration, choose positions that will create more friction, like the "C.A.T." (or the coital alignment technique, where you lie on top with your legs between his thighs -- this tightens your thighs around his penis). Or do it doggy style with him behind, but push your bottom up high to tighten your vaginal muscles. Or, he should sit on the edge of the bed with you on top facing him for deep penetration.
Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure

Thursday, April 18, 2013

5 WAYS TO GET HIM TO LISTEN TO YOU.

How can you make effective couples communication a regular part of your marriage or relationship?
What motivates someone to listen to another person?
Understanding these questions will help you work toward creating an atmosphere where effective communication is a regular part of your own marriage or relationship.
Communication is the bedrock of a healthy marriage or relationship. Through the process of communicating, you share your needs and discover what your partner needs. Such sharing creates a bridge between two separate individuals—a bridge that is the foundation of connection and intimacy. When you stop communicating (or when miscommunication becomes the norm) you remain two separate, isolated islands and your relationship will suffer.
Many marriage and relationship problems can be traced back to faulty communication patterns. Many marriage counselors stay in business because couples fail to use effective communication strategies. A commitment to better communication is the first step in strengthening your relationship—and keeping it strong. The next step is to use effective communication tools to build bridges of intimacy.
Relationship Advice: 5 Communication Tools
1. Clear message, favorable outcome
Clearly communicating your needs is the foundation of effective communication and a healthy relationship. Marriage counselors often focus on improving a couple’s communication skills; a breakdown in communication often leads to significant marriage and relationship problems.
Unfortunately, many couples have discovered that clearly communicating their needs, while necessary, doesn’t always work out as planned. Unless, of course, you found that mythic creature, the altruistic listener — the kind of listener depicted in romance novels and films. The altruistic listener hears a message once and responds as you hoped. He’s always responsive, is interested and concerned about you and therefore interested in what you have to say. (If you find such a person, you may want to grab on tightly and not let go.)
Most of us end up in a marriage or relationship with the sluggish, self-absorbed listener (SSL). They really do mean well. But they’re overworked, overextended, overwhelmed, and, like most of us, have their own emotional baggage to sort out. When communicating with an SSL, sometimes sending a clear message leads to a favorable outcome (what you hoped for); at other times, it doesn’t. That’s why other communication methods are often needed.

Relationship Rule:
No matter who the listener is, you should never abandon the clear message principle.

2. A little appreciation goes a long way
Despite the complexities of the human mind, many of us respond like Golden Retrievers when it comes to receiving a little praise. In other words, when you make your husband feel good about something he’s done, you increase the likelihood that he will repeat that behavior.
Parents do this all the time with children and you may already do this instinctively. For instance, your husband cuts the lawn and you say, “Wow, the lawn looks great!” In that simple statement you showed gratitude for the job he did—and gratitude will make him feel appreciated (which, in turn, will make him more likely to mow the lawn next time…).
Compare this kind of appreciation to no feedback or saying something like, “Good thing you finally cut the lawn, it was looking like a jungle out there.” In this instance, you’re highlighting the negative—essentially the message is that he should cut the grass and his laziness made the grass look terrible. But when you comment on a job well done, you’ve made him feel appreciated, thereby reinforcing his grass-cutting behavior.
It’s human nature to feel good about yourself when someone you care about shows gratitude for something you’ve done. You can never heap too much gratitude and thanks onto your spouse/partner—unless, of course, it’s insincere. For many couples, danger lies in not showing enough appreciation because they’ve come to expect certain things from one another.
Relationship Rule: A little praise goes a long way in getting someone to listen.
3. Give a little, get a little
This is the carrot-at-the-end-of-the-stick communication. This type of “give and take” is a natural part of any relationship. This communication approach is effective for two reasons:
First, it shows your partner that you are a giving person and this may stir his/her own desire to give back (giving is often contagious);
Second, this type of communication underscores the importance of fairness and compromise in relationships. For example, saying, “I’m running out to buy us dinner, can you straighten up the house a little until I get back?” implies that it would only be fair that your partner do his part since you are taking the time and effort to get dinner.
You can rely more heavily on this approach when it’s apparent that your spouse/partner needs some incentive (a nudge) to put on his/her best listening ears and get his sluggish self in high gear.

Relationship Rule:
Each day, model the kind of behaviors you’d like to see more of from your partner.

4. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar
I cannot emphasize this point enough: The way in which you say something (how you package your message) can make all the difference in whether your words get through to your partner (and have the intended impact) or end up unheard, gathering dust in his mental spam-filter.
As the speaker, your top priority is to have your words heard, to prevent the listener from becoming defensive or tuning out. Ultimately, you want your message to impact the listener in such a way that s/he has been alerted of your needs and motivated to follow through and meet your needs.
Example of Vinegar:
“Can’t you see I’m up to my elbows in this mess? Don’t you think of anybody but yourself? At least take out the garbage!”
Example of Honey:
“Life is so much easier when you help out. Can you take out the garbage?”
It’s usually best to use the honey approach or the appreciation approach when trying to get your message across to your spouse/partner.
Relationship Rule: The way you present your message has a dramatic impact on the listener (even more so than the specific content of your message).
5. The Reprimand (aka: The slap on the wrist)
If you’re like most people, once in a while you will say and do something that is upsetting to your partner, and your partner will do the same (you’re only human, after all); when this occurs it may be important to address the troubling issue—with the goal of stopping your partner from repeating the upsetting behavior.
But what if you’ve told him several times to stop a certain unwanted behavior (for example, to stop saying insensitive things about your mother), yet despite your best efforts, he continues on this insensitive path?
Hopefully it won’t get to this point, but there will be times that you’ll have to up the communication ante and be more forceful. In these instances, your partner may need to hear a firm, “I asked you not to make fun of my mother…it’s inappropriate and cruel! Stop it already!” And you may find that you need to add something like, “If you continue to say hurtful things, I’ll have no choice but to see you less.” (Admittedly, that’s harder to follow through on if you live together…)
As you can tell, The Reprimand packs an emotional punch to help get your point across.
It’s best to use this approach when the other four communication methods described above fail to work (however, make sure you give them ample time).

Relationship Rule:
Having to rely too heavily on The Reprimand may indicate the existence of underlying relationship problems that need to be addressed.

If you automatically rely on The Reprimand (when it isn’t necessarily warranted) to get what you want, take a few deep breaths and slow down. Begin adding the other methods to your communication repertoire and practice them until they become a natural part of your marriage or relationship. In doing so, you may find that the doors of mutual, effective communication are starting to open, and intimacy is starting to deepen.
Are you ready to bring your relationship to the next level?

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

5 Steps to Building Your Christian Marriage

How to Keep Your Christian Marriage Strong and Healthy

Step 1 - Pray Together:

Set aside time each day to pray with your spouse.
My husband and I have found that first thing in the morning is the best time for us. We ask God to fill us with His Holy Spirit and give us strength for the day ahead. It brings us closer together as we care for each other every day. We think about what the day ahead holds for our partner. Our loving affection goes beyond the physical realm to the emotional and spiritual realm. This develops true intimacy with each other and with God.
Perhaps a better time for you as a couple might be just before you go to bed each night. It's impossible to fall asleep angry when you've just held hands together in God's presence.
Tips:
Pray these Christian prayers for couples.
Learn these basics to prayer.

Step 2 - Read Together:

Set aside time each day, or at least once a week, to read the Bible together.
This might also be described as a time of devotions. About five years ago my husband and I began setting aside time each weekday morning to read the Bible and pray together -- a couple's devotional time. We read to each other, either from the Bible or from a devotional book, and then we spend a few minutes in prayer together.
We've had to commit to rising from sleep about 30 minutes earlier in order to do this, but it's been a wonderful, intimate time of strengthening our marriage. It took 2 1/2 years, but what a sense of accomplishment we felt when we realized we had read through the entire Bible together!
Tip:
Find out how spending time with God can enrich your life.

Step 3 - Make Decisions Together:

Commit to making important decision together.
I'm not talking about deciding on what to eat for dinner. Major decisions, like financial ones, are best decided as a couple. One of the greatest areas of strain in a marriage is the sphere of finances. As a couple you should discuss your finances on a regular basis, even if one of you is better at handling the practical aspects, like paying the bills and balancing the check book. Keeping secrets about spending will drive a wedge between a couple faster than anything.
If you agree to come to mutual decisions on how the finances are handled, this will strengthen trust between you and your partner. Also, you won't be able to keep secrets from each other if you commit to making all important family decisions together. This is one of the best ways to develop trust as a couple.
Tip:
Check out these top Christian books about marriage.

Step 4 - Attend Church Together:

Get involved in a church together.
Find a place of worship where you and your spouse will not only attend together, but enjoy areas of mutual interest, such as serving in a ministry and making Christian friends together. The Bible says in Hebrews 10:24-25, that one of the best ways we can stir up love and encourage good deeds is by remaining faithful to the Body of Christ by meeting together regularly as believers.
Tips:
Discover practical advice on finding a church.
Learn what the Bible says about church attendance.

Step 5 - Continue Dating:

Set aside special, regular times to continue developing your romance.
Once married, couples often neglect the area of romance, especially after the kids come along. Continuing a dating life may take some strategic planning on your part as a couple, but it is vital to maintaining a secure and intimate marriage. Keeping the romantic love alive will also be a bold testimony to the strength of your Christian marriage.
Tips:
Consider these great ways to say "I love you."
Learn 4 simple ways to rekindle intimacy.
Read this tribute to my parent's love.

Conclusion:

These 5 steps require real, committed effort on your part. Falling in love may have seemed effortless, but keeping your Christian marriage strong will take ongoing work. The good news is—building a healthy marriage is not all that complicated or difficult if you're determined to follow a few basic principles.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

4 Changes That Will Save Your Marriage


Question:

I think my marriage is in trouble and I want to save it. Is there anything I can do aside from professional counselling?

Answer:

That's a great question and it's something that gets asked by a lot of couples who feel that their marriages are on the rocks but don't want to go to professional counselling. Luckily, there are 4 things you can that will help save your marriage and none of them are difficult and all 4 of them are inexpensive. In fact, they're so simple that they're almost common sense, yet most couple's won't do them,

1. Let it go. The first thing you ought to do, especially during an argument is to just let it go. Is being right the most important thing in your marriage? Noodle over that for a minute. Whenever you and your spouse have a difference of opinion, someone automatically wants to be right all the time, it's human nature.

Now don't misunderstand me here, I'm not suggesting that you ought to simply flip over and be a door mat during a argument. But what I am saying is that when all is said and done, being loved and cherished by your spouse is far more important than being right all the time.

When your spouse married you, they were looking for Mr. or Mrs Right, not Mr. or Mrs. Always Right. So drop your guard and just let it go. After you do this a few times, your spouse will start to follow suit and remember, nothing as critical as it first seems after a few days.


2. Start dating again.One of the best things you can do to save your marriage is to start dating each other again. This runs specifically true if you have been married for many years and have fallen into a routine of familiarity with each other.

Now there are two ways that you can go about this. The first way is to sit down as a couple and schedule your dates in the calendar so that you both know what's going on and at what time. The benefit to this strategy is that you'll always know where you stand as far as your date is concerned and you won't have to worry about it falling through. The disadvantage to this system is that it lacks the element of surprise and excitement.

The second way to go about dating your spouse again is to do it in secret and add the element of surprise. By documenting a list of your spouse's favorite activities and then covertly preparing dates around them gives you the additional bonus of shocking them which can enhance the exhilaration of the date. The challenge with this is that if anything last minute comes up, the date may fall through.

So what I recommend you do now is take a look at your schedule and determine if you can surprise your spouse with a date or if it needs to be planned and then go out and do it.


3. Put each other first. This is one of the most important things you can do to help save your marriage. Putting your partner's needs ahead of your own shows them how deeply you care about them. And I'm willing to bet you did this when your first started dating.

As humans, we all have things that make us happy. Some like to be told they're loved while others show small gestures of affection. Either way, the more effort you put into your partner, the less you'll have to put into fixing your marriage.

If you're struggling for ideas on how to make this happen, start small and go from there. For example, if you're the man in the relationship, try doing the dishes after dinner every night for a week, or help put the kids to bed. If you're the woman in the relationship, give your man the opportunity to be the knight in shining armour and let him save the day. Doing this will make him feel valued and important.

4. Be attentive of each other's needs. Love and marriage are not based solely on sex, but it does play an important part. Most women don't know this, but men connect emotionally to women through sex, so when you're man is pawing at you wanting to go to the bedroom what he's really looking for is to connect emotionally with you.

If you're the man in the relationship, it's important to stoke the fires. Take time each night to do something small for your wife that lets her know she's appreciated and valued. Try rubbing her feet or back while you're watching tv or running your fingers through her hair, but do something that requires you to touch her and not in sexual way.


These 4 things will go a long way to saving your marriage especially if you're on the brink and thinking about divorce . The secret is to have it start with you. Don't wait for your partner to make the first move. Take the initiative and make it happen because you'll find that when you do, your spouse will respond in kind.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Sexual Positions Women Enjoy

Many of you are not having orgasms from sexual intercourse. I know that this can be frustrating, especially because we think that we are “supposed” to have them. But one of the things that no one really tells women (especially when we are starting to become sexually active) is that the majority of women (around 70%) do not have orgasms from intercourse alone. Most women need clitoral stimulation in order to climax. So it doesn’t matter how wonderful your partner is. This isn’t about your partner; this is about your anatomy! While it is possible to have this during sex, vaginal penetration on its own will rarely get you sufficiently stimulated. (If it does, consider yourself lucky!) Men and women are simply built differently; for males, thrusting during penetration is pleasurable and can get them to orgasm. But in order to help you achieve orgasm during intercourse, try sex positions where you or your partner can manually (with hands or a vibrator) stimulate the clitoris. (BTW, there is a new finger vibe on the market from Trojan called “Vibrating Touch” –Vibrating Touch. Also, much of how a woman responds sexually is mental. If you are so desperately focused on having an orgasm, you can psych yourself out of having one altogether! But if you masturbate and know how to get yourself to orgasm when you are alone, try to incorporate some of those moves into intercourse. Show your partner what works and hopefully this will bring some additional pleasure to you during intercourse.

Read more: Orgasm Trouble - I Can't Orgasm During Sex - Marie Claire



10 New Sex Positions You've Never Heard of...But Need to Try, Now
If the sexual honeymoon's over and you're tired of busting out the same three moves, it's time to spice up your boudoir repertoire. Try any one of these, or go buck wild with a personalized combo routine. We can guarantee these are not your run-of-the-mill, been there, done that sex positions.
By Koryn Kennedy
July 21, 2011 10:00 AM
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The School House Rock
First find a chair with a sturdy back, have him sit facing forward. Straddle him with your feet on the floor, slowly lowering yourself onto his erection with your knees bent at a ninety-degree angle. Once he’s fully penetrated you, begin to slowly rock back and forth.

Read more: Best New Sex Positions - Ideas for New Sex Positions - Marie Claire

Stand and Deliver
He remains standing and lifts you up so that you can wrap your legs around his waist. From there he’ll cup your buttock and slowly move to enter you, controlling the depth of penetration. For balance, have him stand near a bed or a wall. This position is great for women who like it when their partners are in control—and have some serious upper body strength.

Read more: Best New Sex Positions - Ideas for New Sex Positions - Marie Claire

The Lazy Twizzler
This position is best for sleepy morning sex. Start off in spooning position, then slide one leg forward in front of you giving him access to your girly parts. He’ll maneuver his top leg between yours until you’re legs are open enough for him to penetrate you. This position allows deeper penetration and requires very little effort from either of you.

Read more: Best New Sex Positions - Ideas for New Sex Positions - Marie Claire

The Sexy Marionette
Stand facing a wall, as if you’re about to be strip-searched, placing both hands slightly above your head. Then slowly slide down the wall, falling forward from the waist—like a marionette with slack strings. He’ll keep you steady by holding your hips firmly, as he thrusts from behind. This position requires a little stamina and flexibility, but it well worth the effort.

Read more: Best New Sex Positions - Ideas for New Sex Positions - Marie Claire

The Mirror Image
Straddle his lap, facing him. Once he’s inside you, have him sit up so you’re face-to-face. Then, wrap your legs around each other’s backs and link your elbows under each other’s knees, crating a mirror image of each other. Hold on to each other tightly as roll back and forth. This position allows the two of you to be completely wrapped up in one another, stimulating all your body parts at once, and his!

Read more: Best New Sex Positions - Ideas for New Sex Positions - Marie Claire

Turning the Helm
While in the missionary position have him move up on his knees while he continues to thrust. Once he’s upright, he’ll pick up on one of your legs with one hand and then move it to the other, as if he’s turning the helm of a ship, until your on your side. For there he can maneuver you onto all fours. The beauty of this move is that it maintains fluidity during position transitions, and keeps you and your partner intimately connected.

Read more: Best New Sex Positions - Ideas for New Sex Positions - Marie Claire

The Greyhound
Lay on the bed on your stomach with your legs spread out. Have him kneel between your legs and lift you by the hips until he’s able to enter you, keeping as much of your body on the bed as possible. In essence, your entire body is being stretched out for him and the elongated angel will tighten your vagina, proving a very snug fit. For add spice, try the Rocket Greyhound by adding a small vibrator to the mix.

Read more: Best New Sex Positions - Ideas for New Sex Positions - Marie Claire

The Sling
Stand and face each other, then slowly lift one leg until he can slide his arm underneath it to hold it in the air. He can raise or lower his arm to make this position as comfortable and pleasurable as possible for you. If you happen to be very flexible, he can raise you leg high, possibly to his shoulder, creating a very open pose. This position gives both of you the opportunity to stoke each other for a little extra stimulation.

Read more: Best New Sex Positions - Ideas for New Sex Positions - Marie Claire

The Wide Angle
Have him kneel in front of you then slowly sit on him, locking you’re legs around his back. Once he’s in position, lean back. He can support you by warping one of his arms around you, with the other he can stimulate you clitoraly. This position gives you more control of rhythm and speed than missionary and t gives him a great view of your breasts—a win-win for everyone

Read more: Best New Sex Positions - Ideas for New Sex Positions - Marie Claire

The Wheelbarrow
This an advanced position that works best when your already in the Marionette or Greyhound position. After he’s entered you from behind with his hands on your waist, have him life one of your legs—or both—and rest your hand or forearms on the floor. The Wheelbarrow is incredibly erotic as allows him you see all of you at once, but can be exhausting. We recommend only holding the position for a few, or the final few, thrusts.

Read more: Best New Sex Positions - Ideas for New Sex Positions - Marie Claire
Women love sex. In fact, some women think about it just as often, if not more, then their male counterparts. They fantasize constantly and at great length (with you being the object of their desire, of course).



These hot little fantasies can cover a broad spectrum of kink, but almost always involve one of the five most common vaginal and anal sex positions women enjoy.



This is due to a number of reasons, the most significant being that they create a perfect balance between level of difficulty and maximum pleasure. In other words, these sex positions women enjoy result in loads of pleasure for the minimal level of effort required to pull them off. That’s not to say that women don’t love your faves as well; they’re definitely into sexual acrobatics every now and then — but when we’re getting down and dirty, certain sex positions tend to get women more wet than other.





Private lap dance

Most women love being on top for one simple reason: It makes them feel like they’re in charge, and power is always a heady aphrodisiac. Being on top is not limited to one style, however. If you’re old-school, lie on your back and have her straddle your waist before lowering herself onto you; don’t forget to lend her some support by holding her hips while she rides you. If your woman doesn’t enjoy this style, it’s likely for one of two reasons: She may feel overexposed during the act, or her legs might be a bit too short to pull it off comfortably.



The easy fix for this dilemma? Move to the sofa. Sit yourself down, lean back and pull her astride you. This is definitely one of the sex positions women enjoy because it allows her to brace herself against the back of the couch, giving her excellent leverage to ride you to orgasm. She can even brace herself with one hand, leaving the other free to play with her clit.



Sex position savvy: It may be tempting to just sit back and enjoy the scenery, but if you’d like to really rock her world, tease her breasts and nipples with your tongue and trace the curve of her waist with your fingers; these moves will magnify her pleasure.





Missionary

More commonly known as the missionary position, the comfort zone is not to be overlooked. Nor should any man ignore its tremendous potential for scorching hot sex. Yes, it can also make for predictable, boring sex a Puritan would admire, but only if you’re lacking passion and creativity. The comfort zone is one of the top sex positions women enjoy, and for good reason: the permutations for pleasure are virtually endless, and none of them involve discomfort or the skills of a gymnast.



Take charge: Lay her down on the bed, spread her legs apart by sliding your knee between her thighs, place her wrists above her head and show her what you’re made of. Women love displays of dominance in the bedroom, and this one can be either subtle or overt, making it suitable for nearly every woman out there.



Sex position savvy: Take it to the next level by talking dirty to her. Bring your lips close to her ear and whisper what you’re going to do to her; let her know she’ll be screaming your name before it’s over.





Stand at erection

This sexual position women enjoy is pretty self-evident in the title: Your woman is going to sit on a surface that stands level with your waist, and then you’re going to penetrate her as deeply as you possibly can. The further her legs are spread apart the better, and you can maximize this by drawing her legs around your waist. This will place her vagina directly against your groin, and will make deep thrusting incredibly easy for you, thereby increasing her odds of having a G-spot orgasm. Where can you put this sexual position women enjoy to good use? Try the kitchen counter, the bathroom counter, the washing machine, the piano, the hood of your car — get as naughty as you like.



Sex position savvy: Some men come relatively quickly in this position, thanks to it’s deep-thrusting potential. Don’t be afraid to slow down and take a break to get yourself back under control. Use that time to stimulate her clitoris and bring her closer to the edge. When you start thrusting again, she’ll be just as ready as you are.





Spooning it


The spoon position makes for fabulous sex, and it’s really no wonder that it’s on this list of sexual positions women enjoy. A woman loves the feel of a man’s chest against her back, she loves the feel of your arms wrapped around her and she loves the feel of being penetrated from behind. She especially enjoys it in the spoon position, because it’s incredibly comfortable and still allows you to play with her breasts and clitoris, which, frankly, most women can never get enough of.



Slide behind your woman, pull her bottom backward against your groin, and slip her top leg over your hip, drawing it slightly backward as you do so. Having her thighs spread apart like this will make her feel deliciously naughty and she’ll probably arch her body to give you even further access. This is a very comfortable sexual position women enjoy, and you can expect a great deal of moaning to ensue.



Sex position savvy: Take advantage of this position by reaching around and stimulating her clitoris, and don’t forget to talk dirty to her as you do; this is one of the best positions for pillow talk.





Doggy Style

You may be surprised to see doggy style making the list, but it really is one of the sexual positions women enjoy. That said, the doggy style you see in the average porn flick isn’t really what we’re talking about here — we’re after something a bit more intimate and far more pleasurable. Yes, women do like being bent forward on all fours and taken from behind, but they like it even more when you bend forward as well, sliding your fingers between her thighs and toying with her clit. And women simply love it when you switch things up by pulling them into a kneeling position while you continue to thrust deeply. Women definitely enjoy doggy style, as long as they aren’t made to feel like objects.





Sex position savvy: While bending forward, gently nip your woman’s shoulders with your teeth; this area is very sensitive and most women enjoy being bitten there, as it greatly intensifies the sexual pleasure.



As mentioned previously, women love sex just as much as you do, and they’re particularly fond of it when it involves any of these woman-pleasing sexual positions. While some women may not love each position on this list, rest assured that most do, and they’re happy to experiment for the sake of keeping things fresh and exciting. Women love those kinky positions, too, but sometimes a girl just wants a man to penetrate her in a style she knows she’ll be able to orgasm from. Try one of these sexual positions women enjoy and she probably will.

How do you know if your spouse is "in love" with you?


How do you know if your spouse is "in love" with you?


by Steven W. Harley, M.S.


Steven W. Harley, M.S. If you were asked, "Is your spouse in-love with you?" what would you say. Or better yet, how would you find out? Most people use two common techniques to determine whether or not their spouse is in-love with them:
1. Ask
The straight forward approach is typically what most people use.

    "Do you love me?" one would ask the other.
    "Why, of course I do, Honey."
    or
    "What do you think?" replies the spouse.
And, if there is sincerity in the delivery, the questioning would stop right there.
However, if there was something insincere about the answer, the following technique would be used:
2. Observe
Does the actions of your spouse support the idea that they are in-love with you? Are you treated with care? Are you treated in a "loving" manner? Does your spouse act like he/she is in-love with you? This approach to answering the question of being in-love or not tends to be the litmus test. Most of us judge a person's heart by their actions. Right or wrong, that's what we do. When the actions are in direct conflict with what the person says, suspicion typically follows.
Although the above techniques are used on a frequent basis, they are both wrought with the potential for error.

Ask Yourself

When Iメm coaching my clients, I help them understand that there is a third, and more effective way to find out if your spouse is in-love with you. Ask yourself "Should _____ be in love with me?" In other words, are you giving your spouse a reason to be in-love with you?

Emotional Needs and Love Busters

In order to answer your own question, you must first know two things:
  1. What are your spouseメs most important emotional needs and how does he/she like them to be met?
  2. What are your Love Busters (from your spouse's perspective) and have you eliminated them?
Without knowing the answers to the above questions, you are guessing. And what's more, if you don't know the answers, you are probably tainting your guesses with how you like your own needs to be met (emotional needs) and what you believe is irritating (Love Busters).

Bottom line

You must be successful at developing and maintaining your skills to meet your spouse's needs and also, demonstrate an ability to protect him/her from yourself (your Love Busters). Because it boils down to this: If you're not successful at giving your spouse a reason to be in-love with you, then he/she won't be.
Food for thought...
Steven W. Harley, M.S. is the Director of the Marriage Builders® Counseling Center.

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Saturday, April 13, 2013

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14 Mistakes of Women that can ruin a Happily Ever After Relationship - Tips for Successful relationships

Are you ruining your relationship?

Many times we women do mistakes which results in ruining our own relationships. I have done that too! I spoiled my relationship which my close friends thought as a ‘happily ever after’ one because I was not in love with the man who was dating me. Despite of his best efforts to keep me happy and committed in the relationship, I was unhappy and wanted to break off without hurting him. We are still friends and he is now married to one of the sweetest woman I have ever known. I don’t regret what I did and I am very happy for him because by dragging our relationship we would not have got anywhere. He is a good friend and he will always be close to my heart. But I needed much more than friendship to say, ‘I do’.
This may not be your case if you are here to analyze the reasons why your relationship did not work out. Many times the mistakes which are made unconsciously also can put an end to a love relationship. Do you have a history of failed relationships? Have you thought that you were picking losers? Have you wondered what wrong turn did you take in your happily ever after relationship which spoiled your happiness? Have you wondered if anything is wrong with yourself? Given below are some common mistakes women make that can ruin a relationship.

14 Ways to spoil a Good Relationship

Given below are a list of 14 ways a woman may destroy a relationship. If you find that you are consciously or unconsciously committing these mistakes, it’s time you change before it is too late to save your relationship by making amends.
1) Being Abusive: Men do not like being treated like dirt. If you value your relationship, you need to stop
  • passing sarcastic remarks
  • withholding affection as punishment
  • using negative comments
  • picking fights for silly reasons
  • threatening to leave in case he does not fulfill your demands
  • getting into physical or verbal abuse
2) Trying to Change him: When a friend of mine rejected an arranged marriage proposal because the guy was a Casanova, her father told her that she can change him once married. It is not only the Parents who think that way, women in relationships also tend to think that they can mould the guy the way they want after getting into the relationship. Many women lose their men because of their efforts to change their habits, taste of clothes etc the way they desire. Most men dislike being told that they need to change. Some interfering women may even go to the extent of threatening to dump them if their men do not change.
3) Being Bossy or Clingy: These traits can be equally destructive for a healthy relationship. While some women make the mistake of clinging to their men and not giving them space, others get into a dominating mode. Just remember that a Guy has his own identity and life too!
4) Being Defensive and criticizing: People can get into the defensive mode when challenged or criticized by their partner. It is noted that many women try to justify their behavior or mistakes even when they are wrong instead of admitting that they made a mistake. Also constantly complaining or criticizing the flaws in your Guy can damage your relationship. When such things occur regularly, it could result in unhappiness among couples. If you want to have happy and healthy relationship, be ready to accept the mistakes and take efforts to make amends.
5) Talks about him: It is noticed that some women have the habit of sharing things about their partners with friends and family. Many women find it quite cool in talking about the graphic details of their intimacies with friends apart from sharing the problems in relationship. Men are extremely sensitive and can get hurt by such behavior from their women. Keep whatever is between you and your man between yourselves and do not discuss with all and sundry. If there is a fight, try to resolve it without involving a third person.
6) Talking about Ex Boyfriend: Bragging about Ex is a common mistake many women commit. Many women are seen comparing their current boyfriends or husbands with their ex’s. This is an indication that you are still carrying the previous relationship baggage. Men hate it when a loved one talks highly about any other man and may take it literally even if your intention was just to create jealousy.
7) Being Unfaithful: Infidelity is a major reason for relationship break ups. Do not cheat on your partner or do things which could brand you as unfaithful. Gaining the trust of your Partner after betrayal could be a difficult task.
8) Talks about Money: Are you proud that you earn more than your guy? Men like to take the lead. While it may be okay to discuss about managing the finances of home with your man, it may offend him if you keep on bragging about your pay packet. It can cause an ego hurt for a Guy and he may end up having an inferiority complex especially if you are earning more than him.
9) Being what you are not: Some women have the habit of projecting themselves differently than what they are to impress their men. If you want a healthy relationship, let your man like you for what you are and not for what you are not.
10) Being Selfish:Do you always try to get things your way? Are you only concerned about your needs and desires?When you care only about what you want and consider others needs much less important, you are destroying your relationship. You should be as much a giver as a taker if you want to have a successful relationship.
11) Being Dishonest: Honesty is very important in relationships. Being dishonest to your partner can make you guilty. It is better to trust your man with the truth that letting him find it out from anyone else. If you lied and got caught, he may never trust you even if you are telling the truth. When trust is lacking in a relationship, it is less likely to succeed.
12) Not listening or Talking: Good Communication is an essential ingredient for any successful relationship. Not listening could be worse than responding negatively. Share your problems and happiness with your Partner and also try to be a good listener when he talks. By doing it you are letting your Guy know that you value his presence in your life.
13) Not expressing love: A women can express her love for man in many ways. Keep the romantic gestures and talks alive in your relationship. Even taking good care of your appearance and body is an expression of love.
14) Deny Reality: There are women who prefer to keep a blind eye when problems appear in relationship. Ignoring the problems and not accepting that there is a problem can destroy a relationship. Problems and troubles do not vanish on their own; you have to deal with it.
All the mistakes listed above can destroy a relationship. There is no point in regretting later. Check out my Hub on How to be a Good Girlfriend for tips on having a successful relationship. Have I left anything out? Feel free to add through comments.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

How to improve your Marriage and avoid Relationship Boredom

Someone has rightly said ‘Marriage is a two way street and it takes the efforts of both the partners to make it work’. Unfortunately, many who take their time in finding a partner or entering a relationship do not put much efforts to save it when it comes to maintaining the relationship. After the initial excitement is over most relationship goes stale making the partners to seek the solution in marital infidelity or divorce. This is because after some time after marriage or living relationship the priorities of one or both of the partners tends to shift into children, job responsibilities money etc and as a result they tend to neglect the partner or take  the partner for granted enabling boredom to creep in the relationship. If you want to maintain your marriage or relationship it is essential that you should put efforts to save it before it is too late.

Tips for Improving Marriage and avoiding Relationship Boredom

Improving your marriage need not necessarily involve huge changes but even the cumulative effect of small changes can make a significant difference in the quality of a relationship. Here are some Tips for improving Marriage and avoiding relationship boredom.
1) Improve your Communication: A healthy communication between partners is essential to maintain a good relationship. Take the time out to talk to your partner on a daily basis even if it is across the breakfast table or a late night dinner together. The daily communication can help to gain a better understanding of your partner. Try being an observer and a listener when your partner speaks and do not dominate the conversation by not allowing your spouse time to speak.
2) Take Care of your Appearance: Most Couples become lazy or uncared about their looks once they enter matrimony. Make sure you dress properly, eat healthy and do exercise regularly to stay fit.
3) Spice up your Sex Life: Most women find their men selfish when it comes to their own sexual needs. By taking your time to understand what your partner wants in bed and fulfilling them or trying out new thing with them you also ensure that your spouse would not cheat. Never reach a stage where you are not touching each other. Most women loved to be especially hugged or kissed by the partner even when they are not physically intimate with their partner. According to a study done by the Doctors at the University of North Carolina, hugging boosts blood levels of Oxytocin which is a relaxing hormone that is linked to trust.
4) Add Romance to your Life: Schedule regular dates with your spouse even if it is going out for a movie or play, or taking a walk at the beach or go dancing or having food together at a local restaurant. The idea is spending time together. Every day life can get so bogged down with details, work and loose ends that fun and romance can easily become buried and neglected. So make time for you and your spouse to go for vacations and spend time together doing something you both enjoy.
5) Add and element of Surprise: Predictability in relationships can create marital boredom. It is very important that you use words and actions to convey that your spouse is valued and treasured. Women especially who leave their own family to join her husband after marriage get hurt their mate never remembers a Birthday or an Anniversary and may even feel that her relationship is worthless. Women are also highly emotional and buying them gifts for special occasions or even without a reason can earn their loyalty towards spouse. However, try not to be predictable about what you do to surprise her or what gift you would get for her.
6) Give Respect and Take Respect:What you give is what you get. If you expect your spouse to respect you make sure that you show respect when you are talking to your spouse and also in front of others. Treating your partner like dirt, rolling your eyes when talking or using bad words would not help you gain respect. Never neglect a spouse which is a sign of lack of respect for the person.
7) Take the television out of the Bedroom: The Television in the bedroom can kill romance and sex between partners. Late night TV watching can become a habit which translates to less sex or intimacy between partners which can ruin a marriage. So taking the TV out of the bedroom is a great idea. Feng shui for Romance also suggests this.
8) Celebrate Special Days and Events together: Do you have some special days which means a lot to you and your partner? This can be Birthdays, Anniversary, Valentines or any other dates that have significant meaning or cause for celebration. Make sure you record these days in a personal calendar or organizer so that you won’t forget and make plans to celebrate in advance. You can also celebrate festivals or events like Christmas, Easter or even a New Year Day.
9) Smile Often and not frown: Smiling is contagious and is a very good habit to develop. Smiling helps to build connections so make sure you carry a genuine smile that can warm the heart and make you more attractive to your spouse.
Life is short and one should not spend it keeping grudges or wasting without enjoying it. Do not take your partner for granted but take every opportunity to celebrate your relationship. The tips listed above are small but definitely worth trying if you want to save your relationship, improve your Marriage by avoiding boredom and do not want it heading to marital infidelity or Divorce.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

TO WIVES: Why Is Sex So Important?

What kinds of emotional needs does your sexual interest meet for your man? In written survey comments and in my interviews, I noticed two parallel trends—the great benefits a fulfilling sex life creates in a man’s inner life and, conversely, the wounds created when lovemaking is reluctant or lacking.
Benefit #1: Fulfilling sex makes him feel loved and desired
Not surprisingly, the first thing surfaced from the survey comments was that having a regular, mutually enjoyed sex life was critical to the man’s feeling of being loved and desired. One eloquent plea captured it perfectly:
I wish that my wife understood that making a priority of meeting my intimacy needs is the loudest and clearest way she can say, “You are more important to me than anything else in the world.” It is a form of communication that speaks more forcefully, with less room for misinterpretation, than any other.
The reason why this message is needed is that many men—even those with close friendships— seem to live with a deep sense of loneliness that is quite foreign to us oh-so-relational women. And making love is the purest salve for that loneliness.
One man told me, “I feel like I go out into the ring every day and fight. It’s very lonely. That’s why, when the bell rings, I want my wife to be there for me.”
Another related that sentiment to the power of fulfilling sex. “A man really does feel isolated, even with his wife. But in making love, there is one other person in this world that you can be completely vulnerable with and be totally accepted and non-judged. It is a solace that goes very deep into the heart of a man.
This is one reason why some men may make advances at times that seem the furthest from sexual. One woman relayed a story about her husband wanting to make love after a funeral for a close relative. Making love was a comfort and a way of being wrapped in her love.
Benefit #2: Fulfilling sex gives him confidence
Your desire for him goes beyond making him feel wanted and loved. Your desire is a bedrock form of support that gives him power to face the rest of his daily life with a sense of confidence and well-being.
By now most of us have seen the television commercials for Viagra in which a man’s colleagues for friends repeatedly stop him and ask what’s “different” about him. New haircut? Been working out? Promotion? Nope, the man tells them all, with a little smile.
One man I interviewed brought up those ads. “Every man immediately understands what that commercial is saying —it’s all about guys feeling good about themselves. The ad portrays a truth that all men intuitively recognize. They’re more confident and alive when their sex life is working.”
Once my eyes were opened to this truth, I realized how often I’d heard the “man code” for this fact, but failed to understand it. When men had told me they “felt better” when they got more sex, I had just assumed they meant physically better.
But as one husband told me, “What happens in the bedroom really does affect how I feel the next day at the office.” Another wrote, “Sex is a release of a day-to-day pressures and seems to make everything else better.”
Wound #1: “If she doesn’t want to, I feel incredible rejection.”
As much as men want sex, most of them would rather go out and clip the hedges in the freezing rain than make love with a wife who appears to be responding out of duty. My husband, Jeff, explained: “The guy isn’t going to be rejected by the hedges. And that’s the issue. If she’s just responding because she has to, he’s being rejected by his wife.”
Again, keeping in mind that what he wants most is for you to desire him, try to see what he wants most is for you to desire him, try to see this rejection issue from the man’s point of view. If we agree, but don’t make an effort to get really engaged with the man we love, he hears us saying, “You’re incapable of turning me on even when you try, and I really don’t care about what matters deeply to you.” On the other hand if we don’t agree at all, but throw out the classic “Not tonight, dear,” he hears, “You’re so undesirable that you can’t compete with a pillow… and I really don’t care about what matters deeply to you.”
Although we might just be saying we don’t want sex at that point in time, he hears the much more painful message that we don’t want him.
Here’s what the men themselves said on the survey:
• “She doesn’t understand that I feel loved by sexual caressing, and if she doesn’t want to, I feel incredible rejection.”
• “When she says no, I feel that I am REJECTED, ‘No’ is not no to sex—as she might feel. It is no to me as I am. And I am vulnerable as I ask or initiate. It’s plain and simple rejection.”
• “She doesn’t understand how even her occasional dismissals make me feel less desirable. I can’t resist her. I wish that I, too, were irresistible. She says I am. But her ability to say no so easily makes it hard to believe.”
This feeling of personal rejection, and a sense that his wife doesn’t really desire him, tends to lead a man into darker waters.
Wound #2: your lack of desire can send him into depression.
If your sexual desire gives your husband a sense of well-being and confidence, you can understand why an ongoing perception that you don’t desire him would translate into a nagging lack of confidence, withdrawal, and depression.
The men I talked to scoffed at my tentative suggestion that a string of similar rejections wouldn’t necessarily mean that their wives were rejecting them as men. They warned that any woman sending those signals would undermine the loving environment she wants most because, as one man said, “She is going to have one depressed man on her hands.”
A man can’t just turn off the physical and emotional importance of sex, which is why its lack can be compared to the emotional pain you’d feel if your husband simply stopped talking to you. Consider the painful words of this truly deprived husband—words that other men, upon reading them, call “heartbreaking”:
We’ve been married for a long time. I deeply regret and resent the lack of intimacy of nearly any kind for the duration of our marriage. I feel rejected, ineligible, insignificant, lonely, isolated, and abandoned as a result. Not having the interaction I anticipated prior to marriage is like a treasure lost and irretrievable. It causes deep resentment and hurt within me. This in turn fosters anger and feelings of alienation.
…If you view sex as a purely physical need, it might indeed seem comparable to sleep. But once you realize that your man is actually saying, “This is essential to my feeling of being loved and desired by you, and is critical to counteract my stress, my fears, and my loneliness,” well… that suddenly puts it in a different category. So how might you respond?
First, know that you’re responding to a tender heart hiding behind all that testosterone. If at all possible, respond to his advances with your full emotional involvement, knowing that you’re touching his heart. But if responding physically seems out of the question, let your words be heart words—reassuring, affirming, adoring. Do everything in your power—using words and actions your husband understands—to keep those pangs of personal rejection from striking the man you love. Leave him in no doubt that you love to love him.
And remember, if you do respond physically but do it just to “meet his needs” without getting engaged, you’re not actually meeting his needs. In fact, you might as well send him out to clip the hedges. So enjoy God’s intimate gift, and make the most of it!
…I recognize that some women might very much wish that they could respond more wholeheartedly to their husband’s sexual needs, but feel stopped in their tracks for various personal reasons. I don’t want to add any more frustration. I do, however, want to encourage you to get the personal or professional help you need to move forward. The choice to pursue healing will be worth it, both for you and the man you love.
Make sex a priority
An excerpt from a Today’s Christian Woman article captures this issue—and provides an important challenge to change our thinking. The author starts by admitting that although her husband really wanted to make love more often, it “just wasn’t one of my priorities.” She then describes a subsequent revelation:
I felt what I did all day was meet other people’s needs. Whether it was caring for my children, working in ministry, or washing my husband’s clothes, by the end of the day I wanted to be done need-meeting. I wanted my pillow and a magazine. But God prompted me: “Are the ‘needs’ you meet for your husband the needs he wants met?”
If your daughters weren’t perfectly primped, he didn’t complain. If the kitchen floor needed mopping, he didn’t say a word. And if he didn’t have any socks to wear, he simply threw them in the washer himself.
I soon realized I regularly said “no” to the one thing he asked of me. I sure wasn’t making myself available to my husband by militantly adhering to my plan for the day… Would the world end if I didn’t get my tires rotated? I’d been focused on what I wanted to get done and what my children needed, I’d cut my husband out of the picture.
Are the many things that take our time and energy truly as important as this one? Now would be a good time to reevaluate priorities with the help of our husbands so they know that we are taking this seriously.
… Having heard from so many men on this, I would urge you: Don’t discount it. It’s more important to him—and to your relationship and therefore your own joy in marriage —than you can imagine.
Now that you understand the tender places in your husband’s heart, hopefully you have developed compassion for him and the way he is wired.

This article comes from the terrific book,  For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men -written by Shaunti Feldhahn, published by Multnomah. This is a GREAT book, which helps women learn what motivates men and their thought processes behind their actions (or non-actions). Shaunti had interviewed over 1000 men in researching this book. She reveals the findings of her research brought out so that women can better understand the men in their lives and better interact with them.
There’s also a For Women Only Discussion Guide available, written by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice, published by Multnomah. It’s designed to be used by book clubs, in small groups, or for having a one-on-one dialogue with the man of your life. Many women, after reading the For Women Only book may wonder, “What do I do with the info I’ve been given?” This discussion guide helps answer that question. It contains personal stories, questions, and situational case studies to help equip you to apply the truths you learn.
-ALSO-
There was a Revive Our Hearts radio broadcast series that aired a while ago where Nancy DeMoss interviewed Shaunti Feldhahn and Barbara Rainey on this same subject. We believe you would greatly benefit from reading the transcripts. To do so, click onto the Reviveourhearts.com links provided below to first listen to “What Do Men Need” (and then from there, go on to listen to “Words He Can Hear” and “Understanding His Needs” and then, “Delighting in Marriage”):

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384 comments so far ↓

Samuel
(USA) Amazing… There is much about women we simply have to take on faith, that God made them that way and they really do feel the way they do. This is like the male version, there is absolutely no way one could over emphasize how important the often and regular physical connection is to men because of how we were made. What’s more is that it is so very true that sex is not about sex. It is about safety and security in the relationship and “no” or “not today” day after day, is the same as not being loved. It is about desire and wanting us as husbands and men. Reason it away with the female mind and the relationship will suffer big time. And just like you will find an emotional connection outside your marriage if we don’t meet that need, this is the reason many men find someone to want and desire them outside their marriage. They were not looking, but someone came along and wanted to meet that need and they fell for it. It’s just that a sexual affair is more “sinful” than an emotional affair, but they are the same –finding someone else to meet the primary needs we have in marriage. And it usually happens because the needs are not met. It’s about choice, to meet them or not meet them, it’s our choice.
  • Sue
    (US)  I understand all this so well, but as a woman who is devoid of these primary needs. My partner is in love with food, which is very very upsetting. I am very fit and healthy and I feel this should not be happening to me.
    • Jim
      (USA) What shouldn’t be happening to you? Every marriage faces struggles and challenges. How are you different? Perhaps your husband is in love with food because it is the only thing in his life that loves him back unreservedly. I am confident that your husband knows intimately how unhappy with him you are, especially when you value your own physical fitness so much.
      Love is not expressing caring and joy toward someone just because they are doing everything right. Love just is, and it is an action word. If the two of you don’t reconnect on profound level, the years will bury your feelings toward each other with bitterness and scar tissue. And even if you are still in it, the marriage will be over and perhaps damaged irreparably.
  • Juls
    (UGANDA) I fail to understand the fact that men feel loved through sex. If this is the case:
    1. Why then do men sexually abuse children including even infants??? Do men feel loved by infants through having sex with them???
    2. Then again a man can have sex with as many as three women in a day. And he again could have sexual encounters with as many women as he could possibly spot upon in a month. Does he, therefore, receive love from all those women?
    3. O sweet Lord, if that is the case, then we have a big problem here. Men must be feeling rejection 24/7.
    Please somebody explain to me the above!