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Friday, June 29, 2012

Keeping the Romance Alive Within Family Relationship

Are you married or do you currently live with you partner? For many couples, marriage or cohabitation, often spells trouble for many relationships. While there are a number of different reasons for the cause of this common issue, it's often attributed to a lack of romance. To help you keep your relationship with your live-in partner or your husband going strong, it is important to keep the romance in your relationship alive.

As nice as it's to hear that you should keep the romance alive in your relationship, you possibly wondering exactly how you should go just about doing so. When creating romance in your relationship, it's important to know that not all couples are the same. For that reason, you may want to keep your partner’s wants, needs, or interests in mind. This is another key to having a happy and healthy relationship, compromise.

One of the best ways to keep romance alive in a relationship is actually quite simple concept. That concept is affection. Unfortunately, many couples put on a groove where they just become comfortable with their daily life. This often leads many couples not to hold hands anymore, kiss, or even discuss their day. It's important that you do not let your relationship progress to this point, as it often spells trouble. As often as possible, you'll want to express your love and appreciation for your live-in partner or spouse, both in action and in words.

It's also important to go out of your house. As with showing affection, many couples, after a period of time, stop getting out on dates. Whenever you get a free evening, you may want to consider going along a date. What is nice about dates is that just close to any activity can be considered a date. For instance, you can go away to dinner, see a movie, or go have a couple of drinks at a local bar. All of these activities can be considered as a date. Social interaction, both with one another and with other couples, is important to the health of a relationship. For that reason, you and your partner should get around and socialize.

As previously stated, a relationship is all about compromise. Compromise is also aside to keep the romance alive in your relationship. As compatible as you and you partner or spouse may be, you may still have a few differences. Often, these differences show on date nights. When it comes to keeping a date or just doing a simple activity with your partner, it's advised that you comprise as often as possible. This may include having alternate date nights. For case, if your husband wanted to attend a baseball game, you can agree to do so, as long as he agrees to go the movies with you next time.

As outlined above, there are a number of different ways that you can approach keeping the romance alive in your relationship. As difficult as love and romance may seem, it's important that you put forth the extra effort. Not feeling enough support is an issue that the two of you can resolve, but divorce may not be. That's why it's important to not let it begin to that point.

Source: Free Articles

Monday, June 25, 2012

5 Successful Marriage Tips When a Spouse is Unemployed

Here are 5 successful marriage tips for those who have been affected by the economic down turn. Is this really necessary you ask? When you consider money is among the top three reasons couples divorce today, it really is necessary. Currently, thousands of families across the United States have been negatively impacted by increasing unemployment numbers. Unfortunately, rising unemployment numbers can also translate into an increase in divorce rates. If either you or your spouse is unemployed, here are a few tips to keep your marriage healthy and strong as you make this transition:
1. Keep Things in Prospective - Step back from the situation and realize that although your job was taken away, you still have your life, your family, your health, and your skills. As long as you have all of those things, you are actually quite wealthy compared to some. In fact, looking at it from a different perspective, the loss of your job could actually be seen as an opportunity. An opportunity for what you ask? An opportunity to start that business you've dreamed about for so long; an opportunity to spend more time with your family; perhaps even an opportunity to go back to school and increase your marketability.
2. Avoid Misdirected Anger - Often times when one spouse is unemployed for a substantial period of time, tempers begin to flair as the money begins to diminish. When you become accustomed to having a certain dollar amount in your checking account and all of a sudden it's not there, this can illicit feelings of fear, frustration, and ultimately anger between spouses. But you must realize your spouse is not your enemy. Neither are they the blame for the situation. You are both on the same team, fighting for the same dream. So, instead of taking it out on your spouse, go bike riding or jogging to release that steam.
3. Keep the Faith - Simply put, if you believe you're doomed, then you probably are. If you believe you'll come out on top, then you probably will. What do you believe to be true about your current situation? If you're not sure, just monitor your thoughts for a few hours. What do you spend the majority of your time thinking about? The answer to that question will give you clear insight into what you really believe regarding your future. If you discover your faith is not as strong as it could be, then make a decision to change it, it's just that simple.
4. Save the Date - Regardless of how much money you have or don't have. Regardless of whether you live in a 5 bedroom house or a two bedroom apartment; spending time with your mate must always be the priority. Be deliberate about having a date night and keeping it -- no matter what. There are tons of inexpensive things the two of you can do together. Like going to a "dollar" movie, visiting a bookstore, walking in the park, or having a game night at home. Your financial situation is merely temporary, the truth is; it will eventually change. On the other hand, the relationship you have with your spouse, is a lifetime covenant with a value that far exceeds dollars, diamonds, or gold.
5. Don't Parent - If you are the employed spouse, don't grill your unemployed spouse with questions about their job seeking efforts. Your position should always be supporter, and encourager, not supervisor. The truth is, your spouse wants to get back into the work force just as much as you want them to, probably more so. It is doubtful he or she needs to be parented or supervised in order to find employment. So, resist the urge to play mom or dad, and choose instead to treat them with the same dignity and respect you would want if it were you.
If you enjoyed reading Successful Marriage Tips When a Spouse is Unemployed, click here to read 6 Christian Marriage Tips for building a healthy Christian marriage.
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Sunday, June 24, 2012

Why Christian Marriages Fail

Expert Author Wanda Collins
Many couples get married with the idea that their spouse is responsible for making them happy. Unfortunately, when the other spouse fails to live up to their expectations, a breakdown in the marriage begins. "Well, they're supposed to make me happy, aren't they?" To some degree you're correct. But the problem comes in when you expect them to make you happy. It's your expectations of the other person that pushes the demolition ball into motion.
If each spouse would instead lay down their expectations of what they want out of marriage, and take on the mind set of "I'm going to make my mate happy even if it's not reciprocated", then perhaps marriage success stories would out number the increasing divorce rate among Christians.
Look at it this way, Christian marriage is a ministry and you are the minister. The word minister means to serve. You must forget about what your spouse is and is not doing, and do what your Heavenly Father requires of you. Start ministering to your mate today by demonstrating the fruit of the Spirit; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Minister to them when they've gotten on your last nerve, minister to them, when you've had it up to here. Minister to them when your flesh is screaming they don't deserve you.
"But you don't know my spouse", you say. Your right, I don't know your spouse but I do know that love covers a multitude of sins. I also know that if you took this approach, it would please your Heavenly Father. Now, isn't that what it's all about? Pleasing your Heavenly Father. And all this time you thought it was about you.
Wanda Collins and M J Collins,
Nehemiah Family Ministries
Free Advice and Help for Your Christian Marriage
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Thursday, June 21, 2012

Best sex positions for getting pregnant.

Best sex positions for getting pregnant?

Now that we're TTC, we're having sex all the time. To keep the romance alive, we're changing up positions, but now I'm wondering which positions give us the best chance of getting pregnant?

Re: Now that we're TTC, we're having sex all the time. To keep the romance alive, we're changing up positions, but now I'm wondering which positions give us the best chance of getting pregnant?

The Bump Expert

Sex Positions to Conceive Baby

Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could boost your odds of conceiving a baby by just performing a few (fun) acrobatics during your next roll in the sack? Well, it’s not necessarily that simple. That’s because there’s not really anything in the way of scientific research that proves that one sex position is better than another for conception (and we think it’s safe to say that babies have been conceived using every position possible). “Clearly, someone needs to write a research grant to study this,” jokes Jean Twenge, who researched the subject extensively for her book The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant and found nada in the way of cold, hard facts. There are plenty of myths out there about the subject though (read about the 4 Biggest Conception Sex Myths here)! But even though science doesn’t offer a solution, you can have some fun trying out some of the best theories about sex positions.
Missionary Position
Some believe that the classic missionary position -- man on top -- is best for conception. The idea is that you (literally) get more bang for your buck by using gravity to your advantage. This may sound boring, but hey -- you’re free to be creative during foreplay!
If you really want deep penetration, try the position most of us lovingly refer to as “doggy style” (you on your hands and knees, and him behind). Some believe that getting closer to the cervix during sex makes it easier for sperm to swim to their target. But they’re fast swimmers, so chances are, they’ll get there anyway. As another theory goes, if you have a tipped uterus, you might be better off using this position. If you’re having trouble conceiving missionary style, you might want to try switching it up.
Woman on Top
Sure, you’re working against gravity here, but some experts say that may not matter, with the whole fast-swimming thing. Plus, for some women, this is the most pleasurable position, and that may actually be what’s most important. “We tell our patients the best positions for conception are the ones that are most comfortable for the woman,” say The Mommy Docs Allison Hill, MD; Yvonne Bohn, MD; and Alane Park, MD -- ob-gyns who practice in Los Angeles.
After-Sex Position
After sex try this trick: Lie with a small pillow under your hips for 20 minutes. This can help the sperm swim toward your uterus. “Among women who had IUIs, there was a higher conception rate among those who stayed lying down for 15 minutes,” says Twenge. “There aren’t any studies about whether lying down makes any difference after actual sex, but it can’t hurt.” Use it as an excuse to have a little post-coital pillow talk.
Speaking of gravity, you may have heard that standing on your head after sex helps the sperm swim down to their target. But (unfortunately for all you yoga masters) there’s no scientific evidence supporting this.
More Sex Tricks
Of course, it’s not just about position. Having the right kind of sex to conceive a baby depends mostly on timing and frequency. Get the scoop on exactly when and how often you should be doing it here.
Chat with other women trying to conceive on The Bump message boards.
Plus, more from The Bump:
10 Common Conception Myths -- Debunked!
Embarrassing Babymaking Questions Answered
10 Surprising Fertility Facts
* article updated June 12, 2012
The Bump Editors | April 30 , 2009 5:05 PM

Q&A: Best sex positions for getting pregnant?

Be careful, too much sex can lower the man's sperm count or make them more weak fertility doctors advice against having sex ALL the time.
Danica0678 | July 16 , 2009 7:46 PM

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Tips for Women by a Woman

Over the years, I have observed a common trend with women, not all women but a sizeable portion of the female population, they seem to be very insecure physically and sexually. In my opinion, these insecurities lead women to do some detrimental things in and to their relationships. Women, you need to empower yourselves. Embrace your body (it is the only one you own), get informed about what you like and don’t like sexually and learn that sex is meant to be enjoyed. It is very important to remember that communication is the key to any great relationship and a sexual relationship is no different. Everyone has insecurities but they don’t have to interfere in a healthy relationship. Talk to your partner about the insecurities you have, work on them and get ride of them, or at least get them at a manageable level.

Here are a few tips to help you become the woman you and your man would like you to be, a confident woman who doesn’t focus on your (or his) previous relationships and a woman who communicates not criticizes:

1. Know you are a goddess! Show that confidence. It is very intoxicating to a man if you show him how confident you are about yourself and your sexual techniques. Men love it when women aren’t insecure about themselves or their relationships. If you don’t quite believe you are a goddess yet, try to wear things that make you feel sexy and confident, go get a makeover at the salon, get your nails done and keep telling yourself you are a sexy goddess until it becomes a reality for you. Just remember to keep doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Get a hobby or an activity that is all your own. That will help build confidence as well. It also shows your man that you have your own interests outside the relationship.

2. Ladies stop asking your men about previous girlfriends and the sexual acts they performed on your man. You don’t need to know that and I’m sure he doesn’t really want to talk to you about it. It only leads to feelings of jealousy and that has no place in a healthy relationship. The same goes for you, stop telling him about your ex-boyfriends and what things they may have done for you sexually or how many times a day you did it, etc…etc. Men don’t want to feel like they are being compared just like you don’t want to drive yourself crazy thinking about everything his ex did with him and trying to live up to some standard you have created in your mind. You were not there you couldn’t possibly know what they were like together and besides there are reasons these people are ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends let it go and don’t bring the toxic feelings about your ex’s into your current relationship. Your man is with you, not them, start fresh and leave those ex’s in the past were they belong.

3. Never criticize your man’s efforts in the bedroom. Criticizing is a way of telling him he is not doing things the way you want them done. This can be very hurtful and one of the biggest turn-offs to the person who is being criticized and also often leads to resentment. It maybe true that you are not getting the results you want in the bedroom but criticizing him about it isn’t the way to fix it. Instead be direct and communicate with your man. It is not his fault he doesn’t know what you like if you haven’t told him already in no uncertain terms. Tell him what you want and how you want it. He is then not left guessing about where he stands in his abilities and he doesn’t feel stupid because you belittled him about his technique.

Remember don’t be so hard on yourself, enjoy your body, love your life, don’t try to be someone you are not and above all else try to be happy about anything and everything as much as possible

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Love and Money: How love can last through these troubled economic times

Turn on the television or radio, read a newspaper or blog and you’ll get bombarded with messages about something that you may already know: we are in an economic slump. The relationship between love and money is challenging during the best of times. With rising unemployment, unmanageable debt, and no new credit to speak of, it is understandable to question whether or not love can survive through these troubled economic times.

Most couples imagine that if they made more money, their money troubles would go away. They do not. The problems often become more expensive. So even if you and your partner make loads of money, why is it that you can still have so many conflicts around money? Let’s take a look.

I love you...I hate you...Your always there...You’re never around...

What is your relationship with money? Is money a kind friend or something that you only think about when it’s time to pay the bills?  Picture the family you grew up in, what did you learn about money from the way your parents or caretakers managed money? 

It is important to understand your own relationship with money. Ask yourself:

  • Am I a spender or a saver?

  • Do I spend more if I am bored, angry, or depressed?

  • What did I learn about money when I was growing up?

  • Do I think focusing on money is “self-serving” or “greedy”?

  • What is the primary feeling I have when I think about money?

Compare your answers to these questions with your partner’s answers. Are they same or very different?

Not Every Dollar has the Same Value

In any healthy relationship, there is a pattern of harmony and disharmony between all the working parts, and your relationship with money is no different. Problems arise not only in your own relationship with money but also because your partner has his or her unique relationship with money that may or may not be compatible with your own.

Relationship with Money: Five key elements.

Directing – how you manage taking care of your money as it comes in and goes out. This includes everyday emotional and intellectual choices about spending, paying bills, tracking deposits, balancing the checkbook, and keeping a budget.

Spending - how you spend your money, daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly.

Earning - how you earn money.

Saving - how much money you hold onto.

Investing – how you get your money to make you money.

We all have attitudes about money that may hurt our ability to make wise decisions. Ask yourself:

  • If there isn’t ever enough money, how do I save and invest?

  • Do I manage my money, or is my spending or saving causing me to spin out of control?

  • Even though I save will there ever be enough money?

  • Do I tend to over spend which causes me to under save and invest?

  • Do I want to make more money so that I don’t have to examine or change my relationship with money?

Why We Fight Over Money

Many fights take place not because of the amount of money spent, but because of the expectations couples have that they never really talk clearly about. Whether it's conflicting styles, or misaligned agendas, couples get rooted in their individual beliefs about money. These views make it difficult to see that their partner simply has a different history and relationship with money.

Money is just pieces of paper which can represent power, a high or low self-worth, safety, and love. Put two people together with different ideas about money, and you have an unavoidable recipe for conflict. Here are some key reasons couples fight about money:

Daily Financial Decisions: Since financial decisions have to be made almost daily, they can be a frequent source of disagreement. Let’s face it managing money can feel like a burden.

Power and Control: When it comes to money, one partner may be more focused on saving every penny while the other is focused on spending every penny. Both
the saver and the spender often view money as a means of control and may believe that the person making or holding the most money has the last word on financial decisions. Buying into the idea that money equals power in a marriage can only cause greater conflict.

Keeping Secrets, Financial Infidelity

What information about money do you keep hidden from your partner? Many couples that I see in my practice report that they didn’t fully talk about the dept they were carrying into marriage. This means they never talked about income, debt burden, student loans, inheritance, savings and credit status. Without full and open financial disclosure couples engage in maintaining secrets in the relationship that are damaging to the glue, which is trust, that holds the relationship together.

Hiding leads to disconnection, dis-connection leads to resentment, resentment leads to unresolved conflict. Unresolvable conflict leads to divorce.

Poor Communication

Couples are often afraid to talk about money. They fear that major changes may come; they will feel deprived, or that the conversation will erupt into a huge fight.

When fights about money come up between you and your partner, it is always good to ask yourself: “Are we still talking about money, or is the real issue something else?” If you find yourself at an impasse over money issues, consider consulting a counselor who can help you deal with financial and communication problems.

Navigating the Ups and Downs Ahead

Relationships are facing more and more stress during this economic slump. Many relationships are seriously hurting because it is often difficult to adjust our lifestyle as quickly as salaries are declining. The hope is that our partner will provide a safe place to fall... a place to de-stress and be soothed…especially in such
troubling economic times. Yet sometimes that isn’t the case in our love relationships.

Here are a few tips on keeping your connection strong while handling economic stress:

The Precious Present: Focus on today, right now this moment. Future thoughts create anxiety and stress because of the unknown. Be mindful not to get caught in that trap. Keep your mind on what you have now and what you are doing now.

Free Date Nights: Make your relationship a priority and schedule date nights. Be creative in finding ways to connect with one another without spending any money. Embrace the frugal “less is more” lifestyle. Visit frugal living sites like on the web and see what you two come up with!

Create a Plan Together: One of my favorite sayings is “life hands us many opportunities to act without a plan (which can be very stressful) so when you can plan...Do!” Creating financial, work, life, or stress management plans helps to create a sense of direction and lowers anxiety. Sit down with your partner and make a plan together.

Talk to Each Other: Difficult times often cause couples to isolate themselves from one another and keep quiet for fear of rocking the boat any further. During tough times it is more important than ever to keep the lines of communication open. It is okay to be fearful or upset…so hold onto one another, face the struggles together and talk. Getting confirmation that you aren’t alone can ease the stress and make the obstacles more manageable.

Take a Helping Hand: Money issues are often ongoing problems that need management and solutions. Seeking the help of a counselor before it becomes a reason for divorce is worth the effort. It just might save your relationship.

Contact Julienne Derichs
Call 847 266-8484 or email me at

Monday, June 11, 2012

Christian Marriage and Sex

The time has come for us as believers to change our distorted image of sex. God created sex, but over the years some Christians have come to view sex as something invented by the world. Well, here's a news flash for you, Hugh Hefner did not invent sex! God Almighty did, and there's nothing nasty or dirty about it.

Unfortunately, some Christian women feel that sex is their wifely duty rather than something to be enjoyed by both she and her husband. When you think about it, it's an insult to God, to look upon something He created and fail to see the beauty in it or cherish it as a gift.

Sex between a husband and his wife is not just physical, it's emotional, and it's spiritual. The word of God describes it as a man and a woman becoming one flesh. But unfortunately, some of us have become so "heavenly bound" that we are simply no earthly good. In other words, we are so focused on getting to heaven that we forget we have a life to live here on earth. Not just tolerating life, but living life to the absolute fullest.

After all, your marriage is a reflection of the marriage between Christ and the church. And guess what? Christ is passionate about you! So get passionate about your spouse. If you don't know how to make this change then pray and ask God to renew your heart and mind in this area. After that, we suggest you educate yourself. Go out and get all the books you can on this subject and read until you become a "sexpert". Now listen, we're not suggesting you go out and buy porn, or tasteless books that dishonor God.

There are plenty of Christian books that have been written on this topic, so you should have no problem finding Godly material.

Now, take it one step further by planning a time to sit down with your spouse and read the material together. This little gesture will have sparks flying.

If you have been slacking in this area of your marriage, we encourage you to make immediate changes. Be deliberate about getting the spice back into your sex life. Apologize to your mate for treating this aspect of your marriage as drudgery. Finally, repent to your creator for not appreciating his beautiful gift and ask him to continue renewing you in this area.

Believe us, your new attitude will be a breath of fresh air to your spouse

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Christian Romance Tips For Wives
All right woman of God, it's time you turned up the heat. Not in the kitchen, silly girl, in your bedroom. Yes, I know you work a full-time job, you cook, you clean, and you take care of the children. But the back burner is no place for your love life sweetie. You see, romance is an essential part of your relationship. In fact, where your husband is concerned, it makes him feel loved.

But if you've been a little lax in this area, no worries. Make a decision today to "turn up the heat".

Here are ten simple Christian romance tips you can implement right away:

    * Join Him in the shower when he least expects it.
    * Give him a full body massage.
    * Be the aggressor in the bedroom for a full week.
    * Never come to bed looking like his grandmother.
    * Before he goes to work, hide love notes in his pockets.
    * While he's at work send him passionate text messages through out the day.
    * Leave a steamy voice message for him on the answering machine.
    * Make love to him in a room other than the bedroom.
    * Turn your bathroom into a homemade spa for two.
    * Leave a trail of rose petals from the front door to the bedroom where he finds you at the end.

If you don't typically initiate romance in your marriage, this may feel a little strange initially. But I promise you'll notice immediate changes in your relationship once you get started. It just takes a little effort

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Friday, June 8, 2012

Is Oral Sex a Sin?

If you have been searching the Bible for scriptures prohibiting oral sex, you can stop, there are none.
Infact, because there are no scriptures prohibiting oral sex, the question "is oral sex a sin?" has been a prevalent question in the Christian community.
Well, there are no scriptures prohibiting oral sex, but are there scriptures that speak of it? The answer is yes. Are you surprised?
Get your Bible and turn to the Song of Songs (Song of Solomon) 2:3 and 4:16 there you will find poetic descriptions of oral sex between Solomon and his wife.
Song of Solomon 2:3
"Among the young men my lover is like an apple tree in the woods!I enjoy sitting in his shadow; his fruit is sweet to my taste.
Note: the word fruit in the above scripture is likely symbolic for the male genitals.
Song of Solomon 4:16
"Awake north wind. Come south wind. Blow on my garden and let its sweet smells flow out. Let my lover enter the garden and eat its best fruits."
Note: The word garden here is likely referring to the female genitals as well as the word fruits.

The Songs of Solomon

The Songs of Solomon are probably the steamiest scriptures in the Bible when it comes to romance and sex.
In fact, we know a groom who read to his bride from the book of Songs on their wedding night. Now, how romantic is that?
But anyway, back to the question at hand. We do not believe oral sex is a sin. However, If either of you is uncomfortable with it, then it should not be practiced until both of you agree.
Remember, sex in Christian marriage is not selfish. So at no time should you require your spouse to perform sexual acts merely for your satisfaction if it makes them uncomfortable.
This kind of behavior is not at all Christ like. If you enjoy oral sex but your spouse does not, then show them the love of Christ by being patient and kind towards them in this area until the two of you come to a place of agreement.
Nagging them about this will only give you the appearance of being selfish and insensitive.
Now for those of you who are engaged to be married, oral sex is not a substitute for intercourse. In fact, any physical act that yields sexual arousal or lust is a sin if you are single. Got it? good

Saturday, June 2, 2012

How to Have Great Sex in a Christian Marriage

How to have great sex in your marriage really is no mystery. The first step is to understand that improving sex has more to do with quality than it does quantity. What exactly does that mean? Well, quantitatively speaking, some believe that sexual satisfaction is about the number of creative positions the two of you have committed to memory, this is not true. Others might try to convince you that having better sex is dependent upon the number of erotic toys you have in your intimate arsenal. But making sex the best that it can possibly be in your marriage is not about quantity but quality. That is to say, the quality of your marriage.
The quality of your marriage is directly linked to the overall contentedness of both you and your spouse. So, if either of you expresses ongoing dissatisfaction with the condition of your relationship, then that discontentment is likely to spill over into other areas of your marriage such as sex. Remember, sexual intimacy is just as much a mental or emotional act as it is a physical one.
So where should you start? Start by taking an honest assessment of your relationship and your sex life. Accomplish this by being completely truthful with your spouse about your feelings regarding sex. At the same time, be open and prepared to hear what your spouse has to say, not only about sex but also about the quality of your relationship overall. Additionally, you should consider taking a marriage sex test that scores the quality of sexual intimacy in your relationship. This is a great way to get an unbiased opinion of where sexual intimacy really stands in your marriage. Use the scores from the assessment to guide you in making improvements.
Lastly, be patient. Replacing old habits and behaviors with new ones is not an instant process. But with consistent effort, commitment, and communication, the two of you will improve the quality of your relationship and thereby learn from each other how to have great sex in your marriage.
Having a happy marriage is a key ingredient to having a satisfying sex life

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