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Friday, August 3, 2012

How To Make Marriage Last


It is very hard to really identify what makes couples stay happy in their married life. Some would say that the future happiness entirely depends on their first year of marriage. If this is totally true beyond any doubt, there will be no doubt that if you are not happy during your first year of marriage then you will certainly not be for the rest of you life together as husband and wife. This is what I found not so true. There are always ways and some working-up to be done if you sincerely want your marriage to last.
In general, there are three areas that will determine how well your relationship would be, namely: Expectance, communication and decision-making. Your relationship will depend on how you relate with each other within these three basic aspects. However it is really important to remember that both of you should work it out, not just one. It is often said that "It takes two to tango.'
Expectance: During the first year of your marriage, it is important that you clearly define what each of you expects from each other. You have to identify each of your differences and flaws and even strong point to be able to understand and be able to deal with each other. By doing this, you are building confidence and a good foundation for the future.
Remember always that love is just not enough. You have to work things out too given both of you are completely unique person living together to be one and happy. It is not enough to say "I do,' enjoy the honeymoon then leave each other out if all the candles are already out. You need to keep the fire burning. You need to let each other feel that you expect each of you to work it out "together' not apart. It is vital to the relationship if couples will bear this in mind.
Communicate: It is important in a relationship that both of you should learn how to get along together and this can be achieved if both of you knows how to communicate well. This is not a package of marriage that when you open it up you will automatically learn how to do it. It takes a lot of discussion, communication and adjustment before you can reach the point where you both know where you stand in each other's lives.
You both have to talk about all aspect and areas that concern you including what you like and what you don't like then somehow arrive in a certain area that you both are willing to compromise and meet half way. You need to speak to each other as clearly as possible, specific, positive, respectful to the other's opinion and sensitive. However in communication, it is also equally important that when one is talking the other should listen. It is not good to do all talk or to all listening all the time. It should be a give and take.
Decision-making: There is no relationship on earth that never experience arguments. This is an essential part of every human relationship. How you reach decisions and compromised will entirely depend on how well you react to a certain situation. You should be able to take all circumstances calmly and should arrive to an agreement that both of you shall benefit.
When you decide about a certain matter, don't only consider yourself, consider what the other person would also feel and think. This is the essence of all relationship.
In every relationship not just in marriage, all those basic areas are equally essential. If you are a willing partner and friend to your mate, there will be no doubt that you will be completely satisfied with your life together "till death do you part