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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

If One Partner Cheats Can The Relationship Still Work?

If one partner cheats can the relationship still work? When one partner cheats in the marriage relationship, put aside anger and ego and decide how important sex is to the relationship. The relationship...

The relationship can definitely still work. It depends on whether the partner is going to continue cheating and how much the cheating mattered to you. This is really a hard topic. On an ego base, it matters a lot. We get possessive, angry, and upset, because we don't want somebody cheating on us. How dare they do this to me? On another level, it might totally destroy your trust in the marriage. You have to see if the person is going to keep doing it. If they are not going to stop doing it, you have to decide whether you can accept that. There are couples who just have the agreement to do whatever they want, where the relationship is primary, but they both have sex with other people. I am not okay with that in my marriage, but there are people who are. If it's not acceptable to you, and the other person is not willing to change, you may need to get out of the relationship.

If your partner is cheating because they are not being satisfied by you, there is another element there. For instance, if my husband is not every getting any passion from me after years of being married, he may say, "Forget this. I don't need a roommate. I am going to go get it elsewhere." Would I be able to blame him for this? I am not showing up in the marriage in the way that we agreed upon in the beginning which was that we were to be exclusive sexual partners. I have to stop respond to my husband in a way that he is not so inspired to go out and look for somebody else. It may or may not work. I am not trying to suggest that it's the woman's fault or the man's fault if your partner is cheating, but sometimes it is. I personally think our marriages and our relationships should be a safe sanctuary where we come home and retreat from the rest of the world. We should come home to restore, renew, and rejuvenate to strengthen ourselves to go back out and face the world.