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Monday, May 6, 2013

Why Does Sex Sell in Today's Society?

Jared Garrett
Sex. While the word itself may not be the most common term typed into search engines, the subject is far and away the most popular on the Internet. Why? Because sex sells. Why? Because sex is on people's minds, since people are people and have physical needs that are directly connected to their emotional needs. But the common, explicit and casual treatment of sex and sexuality in our modern society is, at this point, doing more harm than good. It is not difficult to see how having more open discussions of this subject has helped people feel more liberated and certainly has something to do with the lower teen-pregnancy rates today. Furthermore, it is wonderful that sex is not generally seen as something dirty anymore. Instead, we accept this relationship, our physical needs for this relationship and the fact that we can improve in this area as a given today. Indeed, there are sex therapists who can truly do some good for some couples.
However, let's get to the point. We have to stop the perversion. Yes, as we said, sex itself is not dirty. But it can be treated as dirty, and made to be denigrating to both women and men. What is more, as we become more and more open about sexual proclivities, and have fewer and fewer societal checks on our succumbing to often disgusting urges, our society has become rife with problems.
Let's list some of the common societal ills that we face today. We will not include war, because that is a national/governmental problem that we as a society usually condemn, except in times of absolute necessity. We will focus on actual societal ills, rather than big, abstract problems. Societal ills are related to people and their interaction and behavior.
Broken families Father or Mother is absent and children are too often left in the care of TV, other children, or paid child care 'specialists.' The problems that stem from the neglect of these children by their real parents have been documented at length. They include a higher tendency to criminal activity and sexual deviance.
How have modern views of sexuality contributed to the problem of broken families? Take a minute and think about that. Now follow along with a hypothetical sequence. A man who was taught all his life to respect women and try hard to keep his future wife happy stumbles upon a pornographic website. Pornographic images are indelible, and there is new research that shows that addiction to pornography has emotional, mental and physical foundations and aspects. What is more, pornography is almost as quickly addicting as crack. This man sees so many images of women in bondage or allowing themselves to be violated in multitudinous ways that his own perceptions are changed. He starts to believe he has always wanted such an exciting, unusual and interesting sex life. This, rather than forming a lasting relationship, becomes his priority when it comes to his interaction with women.
This man is suddenly a prime candidate for being an absent father. If he does marry, he may decide that his wife is not filling his needs and perhaps he will seek outside the marital relationship to fulfill them. His 'needs' are perverse and denigrating and his wife has every right to refuse them.
Thus, modern views of sexuality can contribute to this man being a sexual pervert, in addition to his committing adultery and leaving his family. Remember that the action of divorce is injuring in and of itself, to all parties involved.
Let's flip that hypothetical situation. A woman, having been exposed to modern views on what kind of sexual activity men expect, feels that she must try to become the fantasy woman she believes men want. It would take an extraordinarily self-actualized woman to be able to completely ignore the sexual expectations of society and maintain her dignity. This woman might never truly trust a man; she just might always think that even if a man says he is not interested in the more imaginative sexual practices, he deep down inside is.
Pornography (addiction to it as well) Pornography is, without any equivocation, an ill of society. Some say that no, it is simply a matter of taste and free speech. Wrong. Pornography has nothing redeeming about it. It is denigrating and it devalues all those involved.
Porn has become more accessible over the last decade. Hooray say the profiteers and society has done nothing to stop it. It is hard to understand why this is so. Over the last decade, STDs have increased exponentially, particularly amongst teens. Divorce has been increasing at a rate similar to pornography's remarkable diffusion over the web. Sex therapists are working more and more with increasing numbers of couples. Single-parent families are becoming less the exception to the norm and more just one more norm, while all children have the right to be raised in a home with a mother and father.
Surely we see the connection!
What is more, addiction to pornography is becoming a major issue, acting as the catalyst to many divorces as mentioned above. Pornography addiction, as any addiction, takes a major chunk out of a person's self-esteem. "Why can't I just stop?" becomes a common mantra. You can't because it is an addiction and needs to be treated as one.
Pornography is not harmless. Allowing its advocates to tout Freedom of Speech as a reason to allow porn's dispersal over the Internet is unconscionable. If we allow such an argument to stand, we should quit it with the rating system of movies (which is already a mess) and we should also allow pornographic magazines to be sent without their customary black wrapping. Some might argue that people can choose to not have pornographic images appear on their screens. If this is true, why do we hear stories of kids and adults who typed in a seemingly innocent search term and got awful results and images back?
Arguments that filters and firewalls and parental controls are the way around this are, quite frankly, stupid. Anybody who knows anything about computers and programming knows that these 'protections' do very little good. The fact is, pornography has no place on the Internet as it is today. The only reason it is there at all is because we have allowed permissive sexual ideas to permeate our societal consciousness and thus our conscience becomes relative and perspectival. It is too much to hope for that porn on the Internet will be banned, but we should at least be supporting Internet channels as a way to keep filthy images out of our homes.
With these two issues alone we can see that modern ideas about sexual relationships are now doing more harm than good. Why do we call the 'good old days' the good old days? Because they were. Let's find out what was working then and what we can do now to make our society work again. We can start with fighting sexual perversion in the open and doing so loudly. In so doing we will be helping ourselves and fellow humans to have more realistic and healthy expectations of sexual relationships, and we will be doing a great service for the families of this world.
Published by Jared Garrett
I am an accomplished marketer, educator and writer. I provide SEO writing services, as well as marketing copy. You can see my work in textbooks, workbooks, LDSLiving.com, Name.com, and myriad other sites...  View profile